A Hop, Skip, and a Jump

London

2011-10-20T08:29:00.000-07:00

Had one last morning game drive yesterday at Londolozi before our flight to Johannesburg. We met us with our friend Maddy who Jess taught with in Taiwan and is from the area and had a few G&T, great fun. We then boarded our flight to London for the 11 hour flight. Again, we were booked in First Class on British Airways and our plane had their brand new upgraded cabin so the flight was a complete pleasure and the service was absolutely top notch.

During our second to last day on safari I was starting to get the end of holidays blues and contacted our wonderful travel agent Isla (The Travel Network in Toronto) to ask her to switch us to the brand new Four Seasons Park Lane in London. I needed something to look forward to! Isla worked her magic and arranged the switch and when we arrived in London we were upgraded from a basic room to a lovely suite which is huge by London standards. London hotels are very expensive and the rooms usually very small compared to many parts of the world. As we walked around to today with looked in the window at some properties, in this neighbourhood a 500 sq ft apartment sells for $1.8 million dollars!!! Yikes.

View from our room

Living Room of our Suite

(no bedroom, bathrooms pics, we have messed those up already)

We have been completely spoiled on this trip and stayed at the most amazing properties in the most amazing rooms which makes it very difficult for a city hotel to give too much wow factor. The room is beautiful and they truly have thought of everything but for me the true wow here comes from the service which is Four Seasons perfection.

Today has been lazy, got our room at 10 am. Cleaned up, went for long walk and lunch, long afternoon nap in super comfy bed and glass of wine and some quick blogging.

Tonight we are off to meet our friend Jimmy for a drink and bite to eat before going to see Pricilla Queen of the Desert on stage here (super gay, looks amazing!).

Fingers crossed that the hotel car (a gorgeous Rolls Royce) will be available to drop us off in front the the gay bar in Soho to meet our friend Jimmy!

Leopard with kill

2011-10-18T20:13:00.000-07:00

Herd of elephants strolling by our suite...wow!!!

2011-10-17T05:36:00.000-07:00

Third day on safari at Londolozi

2011-10-17T01:21:00.000-07:00

We are on day three of safari and have been on 6 game drives so far with 2 more to go. At this point we have seen the Big Five and much more. Believe it or not safari is hard work, the 5am wake up calls have not been getting any easier which is not helped by the fact that any time not on game drive is filled with eating and drinking. Our morning drives are usually 4 hours and the evening drive 3+ hours. Never could I have imagined having the patience to sit in a vehicle for that long but just when I think I have had enough we come across an amazing sight. This morning was particularly tough, it poured rain for the first 2 hours of our drive and we didn't see much of anything (a giraffe here, zebra there, yawn!) we were trying to track down either a herd of elephants or buffalo and were having no luck. I was telling myself that I would not do tomorrows morning drive and the next thing you know we are looking at a leopard trying to wrestle its kill out of the tree, quite a sight, and totally worth the wait.

Yesterday Mike and Neeta from Vancouver left and were replaced by a couple from Mumbai, India. They actually turned out to be very lovely. They have been on safari many times and just jetted down here for 4 days on there way to Dubai (because this was totally on there way there!).

This is us with Neeta and Mike and our ranger David and our tracker Lucky.

This elephant just strolled by our camp.

We spent quite some time trying to track down these lions. They are two lioness' one with four 8 month old cubs and the other with two 3 month old cubs (there were 4 but 2 were killed by water buffalo 10 days ago). The cubs were so cute, we sat and watched them play for over an hour. As we drive around Jess and I both have the opening number of "The Lion King" playing in our head (live broadway version). FYI according to our ranger hyenas got a bad rap in that movie and all male lion are like Scar. There are no nice sweet Mufasa males.

Here is the leopard that we found last night and watched her climb into a tree for a rest.

Our tracker spotted this guy in a tree as we were driving home. On the drive home I was jumping around like a nelly schoolgirl as we were pelted with orange beetle like bugs that flew into our lights, not fun.

This is the leopard that we found today. Leopards drag their kills into the trees so the hyenas and other animals don't get them. We watched this guy climb into the tree and then try drag his kill out of the tree but the kill got stuck and he was swinging back and forth, amazing to see.

Running off for another game drive now. Very hard to blog with this schedule!!!!! Tomorrow, we have an early morning drive, fly to JHB at 2:30 pm and meet up with Madelaine, who Jess taught with in Taiwan, before our flight to London where we will spend 2 days.

Room 2 at Londolozi Granite Suites

2011-10-16T20:05:00.000-07:00

It only took 2 days to upload this video onto youtube!

Londolozi

2011-10-16T03:35:00.000-07:00

We left Hermanus yesterday and flew to Kruger Mpumalanga International Airport on South African Airways and then took another 20 minute private airline (light aircraft, seats a maximum of 9) on a 20 minute flight to Londolozi Game Reserve's private air strip. You can get a road transfer from the airport but that takes over 2 hours to get there. The little plane was a wee bit scary as the plane couldn't go very high because of the short distance. Quite a bit of bouncing around but our 2 nineteen-ish year old pilots handled it well.

We are staying at the Granite Suites at Londolozi. There are only 3 suites in this camp and there are only two other guests here at the moment which is fantastic. The other couple just happen to be from Vancouver, too. Small world! Our suite is huge and gorgeous with outdoor private pool, outdoor bathtub and outdoor shower. We tried to upload a video but this beautiful country's internet is total KOK ('shit' in Afrikaans). Here is a picture right outside the back of our suite.

The days here are quite busy and go something like this:

5:00 a.m.: Knock at door to wake you with coffee and pastries.

5:30 a.m. game drive

8am crepes and coffee out in the bush

10am game drive done, full breakfast buffet plus hot breakfast

1:30pm lunch

4pm tea and pastries

4:30pm game drive

7:30 dinner

Someone had told Jess that all the animals here are microchipped and they can find them easily at anytime but this is not true of the private game reserves. There are no fences on this property and the day can be hit or miss. We have only been on 2 drives so far and both have been definite hits. Here are just a few of the pictures from 5 hours worth of driving (oh, and the giraffe picture is crap but we were racing to find two female lions and their cubs which we never found. Hopefully we'll take a nicer one tonight). The safari has been so brilliant. Last night we saw a leopard eating his kill in a tree (an impala... which we captured on video) and a bunch of hyenas eating another impala that they stole from the other leopards mother.

Oh, and you should also see our guide. Hy sit n huppel in our knupples.

There is much, much more to show you and write but we're not willing to spend our time hoping that we have enough bandwidth to get everything onto a posting. Maybe we'll have more patience tomorrow.

Last Day at Birkenhead House in Hermanus

2011-10-14T03:08:00.000-07:00

Today was one of the only days of this trip that we have absolutely nothing planned. I tried to talk Jess into doing a couple of wine estates, which he vetoed. We had a leisurely breakfast and then did the cliff hike into the town of Hermanus (about an hour and a bit). The homes along the way were stunning, complete with electrical razor wire fencing! The security business is huge in this country. We toured the art galleries and Jess fell in love with a painting which, after measuring our luggage, fits and he has gone with the hotel driver back to town to buy it.

Every stop on this trip has been so different and every stop has totally exceeded our expectations. This stop has been all about whale watching and sharks. Yesterday's shark dive was something I never thought I would (or could) do and absolutely amazing.

Our room here at Birkenhead House is lovely, the best in the hotel, right at the front of the property overlooking this view from our front balcony. I completely rearranged our itinerary so that we could get this room and I'm so glad I did.

It is whale season here and viewing is better from the shore than from any boats. Boats are not allowed to get closer than 300 metres from the whale and they are much closer to the shore than that. We have seen tonnes of whales, often breaching where they jump right out of the water. They often breach 3 times in succession so it is quite something to see. Here are a couple of pictures taken from our balcony. Unfortunately, all our pictures show the final stages of whatever was going on. We never quite get the money shot.

Birkenhead House has been amazing. This place is an all inclusive where, well, everything is included in the room rate... food, booze, laundry, transfer, you name it. When we arrived, Ricardo (some super hot, sexy, latin flavoured man) toured us through the property and took us by the hotel bar and told us to order anything we want and to also feel free to step behind the bar and make something for ourself if we feel we can do it better. He also took us by this table and told us to help ourself whenever we like. Surprisingly, we have yet to partake in either of those activities. Shocking!

The room is the smallest of the trip so far but the decorating is lovely and the hotel service superb. The food has been amazing with special vegetarian menus for us at dinner each night.

Here are some of the common areas of the hotel.

This is the living area below our room (this is not our room, that would be TOO much). Jess is chilling here after breakfast waiting for housekeeping to refresh our room. Man, how long does it take to pick up 10000 rose petals ladies?! Honestly!

Tomorrow morning we fly from Cape Town to Kruger National Park to Londolozi Granite Suites. This is supposed to be the highlight of the whole trip (with the exception of the wedding). I hope they have an internet connection considering it is very remote. Forgive us if we don't blog.

Until then we will pretty much spend the rest of the day doing what we've been doing until now. We're both in heaven.

Shark Cage Diving Video

2011-10-13T12:16:00.000-07:00

It's somewhat anticlimactic but it gives you a better idea of our day.

We're Alive

2011-10-13T08:48:00.001-07:00

Today our hotel drove us from Hermanus to Gansbaai where we would meet up with our Great White Shark cage diving tour, Marine Dynamics. Originally we were scheduled to go with another company but due to the high winds and poor weather throughout the night, they cancelled the tour. The hotel arranged us a tour for the same time, same day, with another company should be want to go. Damn them. Of course, we went.

Now, I should mentioned that I have a phobia of dark water and whales or large fish (childhood trauma), and Ryan hates the water and has a seaweed phobia (go to work on that one, psychologist friends). This is not exactly our dream excursion.

Had a lump of coal been shoved up our assholes on the way there, we could have pooped out a diamond in a matter of seconds. Both of us were more than tense but at that point, there was no turning back. Our driver dropped us off, we signed away our lives on the paperwork, and we headed toward the boat.

Once we were aboard, we were given a wetsuit, wetsuit booties, an inflatable lifejacket should we need it, and a raincoat. I am pleased to say we did not need the lifejacket or coat. We also had our camera bag with us which I was bitching about initially but it captured one or two cool shots about about 3000 shitty ones of dark water.

I wasn't looking forward to wearing a wet suit in public at all but after stuffing myself into it, I'm considering wearing one at all times under my clothing. It won't make me look smaller and still shows my belly but at least it mashes my boobs down and sort of forms my torso into a trunk instead of profiling my lady lumps.

We anchored and the crew got to work. Tuna heads were bound together with some sort of rope (something ingest-able, I assume - the company is very keen on keep the sharks healthy and doing research to increase their numbers), and chum (blech) was stirred up which slowly leaked out of the boat to attract the sharks. The crew also threw in a board shaped like a black seal. Harmless really... only, what does that board look like to you? A miniature version of, oh, I don't know, a HUMAN IN A BLACK WETSUIT?!

We waited at the first site for about an hour with no luck. They hauled up the anchor and headed toward another spot that another company was just leaving after some luck. Within minutes, there was a sighting. The first was a 4 meter long male. Un-FREAKING-believable. This is not, by far, the biggest sharks there are to see. They can grow to about 6 meters (20 feet) but even seeing 'a small one' at 12-13 feet was amazing.

After a couple sightings they lowered the cage into the water and the first few went in. You line up like a row of sardines with only a mask and when they yell, for example, "DOWN, RIGHT!," you hold your breath and do just that. Before you know it, you literally have one of these magnificent animals within feet from your face.

Like I said, we were both shit scared before hand but once everything had been explained to us and we were in the water, it was really peaceful and inspiring. You're witnessing an enormous, graceful animal manoeuvre through the water in his (all 15 we saw were male) natural environment.

The sharks are attracted to this area because of Geyser Island which is a stones throw from Dyer Island, just off the coast. Geyser Island has between 40K and 60K seals on it at any given point. On our way back, we stopped between the two islands (known as Shark Alley) and took a few pictures. Only the mothers and young pups were there. Apparently in November/December, they jockey for space and the rock is totally blanketed with creatures (by the way, those darks things in the water isn't seaweed... it's seals). Unfortunately these photos don't do the spectacle justice. It's magnificent to see. Our telephoto lens was already stowed away because we were on our way back and didn't want to get it sprayed by the splash off of the bow.

I can't say enough about our outing today. Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant. We both think it was the best adventurous thing we've ever done on vacation (which maybe isn't saying much) and has opened the door to many other things in the future (I'll tell Ryan later. Hey, he's the one who insisted we do this!).

AND... if that wasn't enough, here's how the view from our hotel room balcony is topping off our day. Bliss.

Birkenhead House

2011-10-12T12:22:00.000-07:00

Our room away from home... our other home... and family at La Residence.

Saying Goodbye is Never Easy

2011-10-12T07:56:00.001-07:00

This morning we said goodbye to La Residence in Franschhoek. Jess and I both woke up this morning threw open the blinds (the only thing you have to do yourself here!) and looked out at the view and were so sad we had to leave this beautiful place. Although La Residence is an absolutely beautiful property in the most stunning location it is really the people who make it the BEST HOTEL we have every had the pleasure of staying at. We have stayed at many very nice properties around the world and never have we felt like we were saying goodbye to family like we did today. Quite bizarre when you think we've know these people for four days.

Below is Jess and I with Chantell and Edward. Chantell, the events coordinator, arranged everything about our wedding before we arrived, all through email. I would send her an email and moments later have her response. Of course, nothing was any trouble at all. When we finally met she was the sweetest girl you could ever imagine and when the day came everything was perfection. Edward is the general manager of the hotel and I picked this photo of him because he looks like a GQ model in it and I knew he would like that. Edward was one of the witnesses at the ceremony and the nicest person you could ever meet. Edward came and sat and chatted with us each day. Our conversations revolved around such topics as how to get the hot gay cook to come out of the closet, and how he had to fire a very hot gardener but because he was so hot rehired him again to do his floorboards at his house because the view was so good, you get the idea. We loved him.

This is Jess and I with Nick. He was also a witness at our wedding, where he wore a suit! To give you an idea of the service at La Residence Nick drove from Cape Town (1 hr away) to deliver a document we needed to make our marriage legal in Canada. Today, Nick showed up looking like an Abercrombie and Fitch model, which we enjoyed!! The nicest man.

Another team member who stood out was a fellow named Evan. OMG, he could star in an American sitcom, such a character. Evan decorated for our wedding and our wedding dinner, and it was FABULOUS... and we're pissed that we either didn't get a photo with him or we can't find it on this damn computer.

Today as we drove down the driveway to depart the hotel this is what we saw......

How can you not love that!!! You would never see that at the Holiday Inn (I have never stayed at a Holiday Inn, for the record, but I am sure you wouldn't see that). Jess and I were seriously emotional as we drove away (I wanted to cry, NO JOKE!) and headed into the mountains to our next destination.

We said goodbye to the Franschhoek valley, but know we will definitely be back.

Hermanus

2011-10-11T22:34:00.000-07:00

Here's where we're headed today. Land of whale watching and shark cage diving. Yeesh, why did we book that again?!

View Larger Map
More later tonight.

Medicine and Wine

2011-10-11T08:31:00.000-07:00

We went to dinner last night at a place called Dutch East even though Ryan was feeling miserable. I told him over and over that we stay home but he wouldn't hear of it. Not quite sure why he insisted on playing the martyr but I was glad he did because I was feeling GREAT and the food was the best of the trip. They even prepared a special vegetarian set menu for us - something we both felt bad about because Ryan didn't eat. We're going back there tonight again because Ryan is feeling much better and he wants to try it out, too.

It was more breakfast at the hotel the next day. I've got to say, we are currently the only guests staying here right now and considering they make you feel like family (all 78 staff), it feels like La Residence is our private estate. I could get used to this.

After breakfast we were off, again, with the fabulous Glen Christie for more wine tasting. Glen's tours are tailor made and change as you go depending on your preferences. So brilliant. We visited Rustenberg Wines, Warwick Wines, Thelema Mountain Vineyards, and then went for lunch at La Motte.

We were totally stuffed but decided to go to just one last winery - we're not quitters! We headed up to Boekenhoutskloof. We had about enough wine at that point and decided to go back to the hotel. After a bit of shopping, we really worked up an appetite and are getting ready for dinner. God, I'm going to need a bra soon.

Tomorrow we leave this amazing place and head about an hour and a half away to La Residences sister hotel, Birkenhead House, in Hemanus. It's supposed to be a completely different experience and we're really looking forward to it.

Post-Wedding and Stellenbosch Wine Tour

2011-10-10T07:30:00.000-07:00

I'm not exactly sure what we've missed on this blog over the past few days. I'm sure there's been a lot. No apologies, though. We got married. We're also in a magnificent part of the world, at a magnificent hotel. Oh, and the internet reception is magnificently bad but considering it's the only complaint we could actually come up with for this property (with thinking about it for awhile), we'd come back a million times over.

Our suite, if we haven't mentioned it already, was designed for Sir Elton John who stayed here a few times. In fact, there is a picture above him on the desk he's autographed to the hotel as I write this. Over the past few years, Elton has gifted six Jacaranda trees to the property which surrounded us as we got married. The rock we brought from the very peak of Whistler Mountain (where we live on the weekends) is now wedged in-between the branches of one of the trees and will stay there forever (the gardening staff has been informed by Edward, the manager who was one of our witnesses, and also is friends with Elton and travels with him while he's here).

Today, we got up late to a disaster of a room. We got back from our wedding dinner (I wish we had pictures... again, they will come from our photographer in a months time) and the room was covered in candles, petals, and a hot milk bath was drawn. There were chocolates on plates and champagne on ice. Amazing. Not so amazing once the bath was taken, towels were thrown, and petals were wilted. The housekeeping had their work cut out for them.

We met Glen Christie of Vineyard Ventures after breakfast and set out on a tour of the Stellenbosch region wineries. Glen is amazingly knowledgable and took us to some amazing spots. We first stopped at the Meerlust Estate (which was actually the setting for the 'The Covenant' by James Mitchener) and, of course, forgot to take pictures. We followed that by Rust en Vrede Estate Winery which had a spectacular setting and very much reminded us of the mountain wineries in Napa Valley, California.

We then went to the Waterford Estate which was a bit more commercial but still lovely. Unfortunately, Ryan is now the one that feels like he's on death's doorstep which kind of put a damper on the day as it went on. At this point he was close to being done. Don't get me wrong - we are really happy I was over my sick business in time for the wedding and if Ry had to catch something (from the millions of kissing pictures, perhaps) we're glad it's now - post wedding, pre safari. Sucks anyway.

Sick or not, my HUSBAND pressed on. It was, after all, lunch. Dale dropped us off at Delaire Graff Estate (as in, the diamond producers). I thought lunch was amazing. Ryan did 'the Barbara Walters' and cut up his food and pushed it around the plate to make it look like he had eaten it. Ry also pushed his 'once sipped' glass of wine my way to finish. In other words, THE BOY IS SICK.

We're supposed to go out for dinner to a local place called Dutch East but right now Ry looks like this so we'll see how the night unfolds.

Best. Day. Ever.

2011-10-10T06:59:00.001-07:00

We're Married!!!

2011-10-09T13:01:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the lack of blogging, bad internet connection and very busy days to blame. Hey, guess what we are married. Our photographer promised some photos by tomorrow so we'll post some then. The day was perfect, freaking hot 36C but cooled down nicely for our ceremony at 6pm. We were blubbering messes but couldn't be more in love. Until we can do a more detailed post here are some photos of La Residence where we were married. Absolutely, the most gorgeous place and hotel we have every been to in the world.

Tomorrow we do a full day of wine tasting in the Stellenbosch region.

Birthday Dinner and La Residence

2011-10-08T08:58:00.000-07:00

Last night we went to the fireside area for a drink before dinner and made our way to the dining room. We finished dinner and the manager came and asked us what we'd like for dessert. We declined and asked for the cheque. Moments later he came back to tell Ryan there was a phone call for him. So, before wine, I would have immediately figured it out. After some vino, I was thinking that a) Sharon's dead (Ry's mom), b) Walter is dead (our dog), or c) the wedding officiator/photographer got into some kind of accident and can't make it. Turns out they had a cake for me and wanted me to stick around. Ryan assured them I would hate that (he was right), thanked them, and asked that we could have it in our room. Turned out they were way ahead of us. The staff had already covered the pathway, bathroom, and bed with rose petals, and lit every candle they could find.

This morning we made the three and a half hour drive to our next hotel, La Residence, in Franschhoek (South African wine country). We spoke to soon when we said that Bushmans Kloof was our favourite room ever. The Maharani Suite is absolutely blowing our minds, as is the service. Of course, it would be here that our room video refuses to upload. Pictures just don't do it justice.

Unfortunately, we had a huge post written with a bunch of pictures to show you but somehow lost it. We'll have to try uploading it again after we're HITCHED.

Last Day at Bushmans Kloof

2011-10-07T06:40:00.000-07:00

This place has totally exceeded all our expectations. Pictures do not do it justice. Last night we found it hard to leave our room after lounging for hours looking at this view.

It has become rather hot very quickly (we were wearing jackets two days ago) and is supposed to be high 30's C by tomorrow so our plunge pool has been a lovely reprieve. Jess, of course loves his "tubbies"! The bath overlooks the patio, plunge pool, and view so it really is quite lovely.

We headed out to dinner and were lead down a candlelit path to "Embers," a large terrace built into an rocky outcropping with a fire pit in the centre. The surrounding rocks were illuminated and it was just a stunning setting. We sipped sparkling wine here before heading up to the other outdoor restaurant for dinner. While sipping our bubbles the manager came over to make sure we had had a amazing day and to let us know they had arranged a picnic lunch for us tomorrow and that they would see us at breakfast to arrange which wines we would like to take with us. Wow!!

Dinner was amazing, again. Everyday the chefs special tasting menu that they offer us is different than what the offer the other guests and is totally vegetarian. The other guest's chefs menu is all meat but our menu is printed up to look just like theirs. At first I thought they had turned the whole resort vegetarian just for us. Again, just a nice touch.

Today we started the day with another couple hours of spa time after breakfast. Instead of the spa, we requested the riverside gazebo for our treatments. This was a couples treatment room so Jess and I were together for this one. The treatment room was stunning you could hear the river and birds chirping in the background, so relaxing. We had the same "therapists" we had yesterday and they were both amazing. The girls told us they would leave for awhile and we could undress down to our underwear or choose to "lie naturally" under the towel and they would be back. Jess damn near gave me a heart attack when he glanced over with a puzzled look while the girls were knocking and coming in the room, and asked why I had a "boner". I obviously didn't but he sure got a good laugh out of it. Nothing like getting super tense instead of relaxing! We asked the girls about their work schedule because the nearest small town is 40 kilometres away, through the same tundra we've posted pictures of. They said they work 18 days here and then get 6 days back in Cape Town (3 1/2 hours away).

We met our guide "Werner" at 1 pm for our picnic. He drove us in the Land Rover down to an area overlooking the lake. When we arrived our picnic spot was perfectly set with umbrella, pillows, blankets, wine, water, picnic basket and an amazing spread of food. Again, wow, wow, wow.

As you can see, the food spread was a little sparse, I mean who can get by with this menu for lunch:

bread

cheese straws

3 different dips

assorted vegetables

butternut squash tart x2

mushroom tart x2

caprese salad x2

veggie sandwich (to die for) x2

cheese and tomato sandwich x2

brie and fruit x2

pecan pie x4

berry pie x2

strawberries (a garnish, I am sure)

grapes (again, as a garnish)

wine

sparkling water

We tried really hard and didn't come near to finishing it. Shocking!

We are currently reposing in the room and enjoying our last day in this amazing place. A little concerning is the fact that Jess is quite sick. I was feeling like I was getting sick yesterday but have rebounded (hopefully). While we were doing our Township tour a few days ago, two little kids ran up to us and wanted to hold our hands as we walked. I couldn't help notice the little girl had snot running all down her face. I kept my hands extended from my body for the next two hours of our tour until I could get to the hotel and disinfect myself but Jess may not have done the same. Jess is convinced he's on his deathbed after drinking that beer. I hope he rebounds as quickly as I seem to have.

Below is the map showing where we traveled from (Cape Town), to where we are now (in the Cedarburg Mountains), back down to La Residence in Franschhoek where we're getting married! Can't wait!

View Larger Map

Sp-Ahhhhhh

2011-10-06T07:31:00.001-07:00

This has pretty much been our day... you know, apart from eating and drinking. Life is good.

My favourite picture is the last one of Ryan pretending he's relaxed on a lounger and didn't just step in a super muddy patch of grass covering his feet and slippers in mud.

Well, we didn't ONLY spa. We did some major cardio in the plunge pool, as well. Exhausting going from side to side trying to remember where you put your wine!

Game Drive and Cave Paintings

2011-10-06T00:59:00.001-07:00

Yesterday after we arrived, we were introduced to the guide that had been assigned to our room, Werner. If we were interested, he told us he could take us on a game drive. It was tempting to stay in the room and just relax the first day, you know, swim in our OWN pool but we opted to go. It was amazing. We met Werner at the reception desk and he asked us to get into the truck. Super annoying that the Circle of Life from the Lion King immediately got stuck in my head. Within about 10 minutes we were driving through the area and we were gobsmacked by how beautiful it was. We were suddenly reminded that we were a long way from home.

This reserve doesn't have big game but we were amazed by the animals we saw. There were a couple we didn't even know existed. It really was king of Lion King-ish... all of these different types of animals in groups, all together in one area. We first spotted some Bontebok and Sprinkbok. We knew of Springbok but Bontebok was something new.

We also saw Hartebeest and Ostrich. the Heartbeest were quite amazing, and very lively while we were there. They were running around like a pack of wild horses. Kind of neat seeing ostrich in the wild as well. Our guide told us that ostrich can be quite dangerous because of their stupidity. Their brains are smaller than their eyeballs and they have talon-like claws on their two toes so if they can't run away from you and feel threatened, they'll kick forward and try to gouge you.

There was also quite a few Cape Mountain Zebra though they were quite skittish and did not appreciate that we were there. We are quite luck to see them as there numbers were down to about 40 at one time though through breeding programs, they are now in numbers of about 2500.

As the sun went down, our guide stopped and asked whether or not we would like some sundowners. I'd never heard the term before this trip but I like it. Werner put down the back hatch and set up a full bar. My kind of game drive!

We also stopped many times on the way to look at different birds and bugs. All over the grounds of our hotel are Cape Weavers that weave round nests like these in the trees. Really neat.

Werner also showed us things we didn't really need to see. Reminding us that things like this live here is really not good for the psyche when walking to dinner while it's pitch black. Unsettling. Now Ryan also just about leaps out of his lounge chair every time a leaf lands on his arm or a bird lands on the awning above us. So nasty.

This morning, we got up and had breakfast in their open air restaurant. It's so brilliant being able to start the day this way.

We drove about 15 minutes away to some 2000 - 3000 year old cave paintings by bushmen that used to inhabit the area. The red is the only colour that has survived, made from blood, dust, and plants because it actually stained the rock. The yellow, white, and black has all washed away. Really cool we had an opportunity to see them.

We're back at the hotel now, relaxing by the pool and trying to gear up for an exhausting afternoon of facials, foot massages, and absolutely nothing. Ahhh.

Bushmans Kloof

2011-10-05T22:09:00.000-07:00

The Honeymoon Suite at Bushmans Kloof.

Best. Room. Ever.

Mountains, Whiskey, and Friends

2011-10-05T05:17:00.000-07:00

After our township tour yesterday, we decided to head up Table Mountain. It was our last full day in Cape Town and the concierge told us we'd better go that afternoon because it's been really windy in the mornings lately and they often won't open the tram until the winds die down. Considering we were leaving the next morning at 11:00 a.m., we decided to go.

Another nice thing about the Cape Grace Hotel is that they have a complimentary fleet of vehicles their guests can take anywhere if they haven't been booked by another guest. All you need to do is call. So, we called and Ricky sped us up to the tram.

When we got there, the line was really short which we were thankful for. We headed straight up to the top and put the cameras to work. The views from the top are stunning. It was also freezing cold and windy. We read in the newspaper at breakfast about a British couple that got lost and spent the night up there a day or two ago. Can't imagine. We're really glad we had the opportunity to go up with the weather we've experienced since we got here.

One of the gifts we got from the hotel was a complimentary whiskey tasting in their whiskey bar, Bascule. They serve over 400 types of whiskey, including a 50 year old Glenfiddich that they charge R18000 ($2400) per OUNCE. I obviously wasn't doing the conversion correctly when I mentioned it in another post. Anyway, it was delicious! Kidding... as if...

We learned a lot at the tasting. First, we learned that we don't like whiskey. Second, we learned that you don't have to do a complimentary whiskey tasting just because it's complimentary. When you go for wine tasting, you toss around words like cherry, dark chocolate, and cinnamon. Here, we were getting told flavour profiles like peat, burnt tires, and iodine. Umm... no thanks. It was fun, though, and the guy leading the tasting was a trip. Big huge laugh after everything he said. I felt a bit bad for him, to be honest. We, obviously, took it very seriously.

While we were finishing up our tasting, my old (not age, Tanya... length of friendship) friend met us and we went out for dinner. It's been years since we had seen each other (lived in the same Taiwanese city going on 8 years ago) and it was like no time had passed. We went to a restaurant called Fork and had an evening of wine, laughs, wine, food, and wine... which eventually steered the evening somewhere it might normally not have gone. That said, no complaints!

We woke up this morning and packed our things. A driver was sent from Bushman's Kloof, the next place are be staying, and we drove the 3.5 hours to get here. Now, we've been lucky enough to stay in some pretty amazing accommodation over the years but after they took us to this room, we both agreed that it is the BEST hotel room we've ever stayed in. Stay tuned.

Township Tour

2011-10-04T06:00:00.000-07:00

We spent the morning on a township tour with Samantha, one of the owners of Camissa Travel who specialize in township tours (she is from Langa, one of the townships). It was an amazing experience and we both agreed it has been, by far, the most eye opening tour we've ever been on.

We were picked up at the hotel and driven to the District Six Museum. It is an old church that has been turned into a a museum to help educate people about what happened in this area of Cape Town. During the apartheid, all black and coloured (meaning mixed race and/or asian) people were forced from their homes and dumped on the outskirts of the city after district six was declared a white-only zone. Their homes were destroyed, and the land was cleared for developers to come in and rebuild for white people. Many white people were against apartheid as well and business developers wouldn't touch the land. After Nelson Mandela was sworn into office in 1994, the government has been trying to bring the original families back to this area. The problem with this is that they have to prove by way of deed, picture, title, etc. that their descendants lived there. Many people lost all records the might have had. The museum is trying to help original residents claim their land by way of a giant map of the city on the floor that district six residents can write their names on in the block they lived.

After we spoke with the man that helped found the museum (a former resident of the area who is hoping to move back), we drove to Langa, one of the townships, and later to Gugulethu. As we didn't know much about what to expect on this tour, I was a bit concerned at how this would be perceived by the people in this area. I could only assume they would see it as rich, white people coming into their neighbourhoods like they were on a safari, shooting the poor, black people with their expensive camera equipment. Our tour guide explained it was just the opposite. This was an opportunity for some of the tourist money to flow to their neighbourhoods and went on to say that all of the tours of people's homes were prearranged and that a gift would be expected. I won't say that this explanation put me at ease but considering their rent was about $20/month, we made a few people happy for letting us peer into their lives.

We had the opportunity to actually go into some of these homes. It was astounding. People are so impoverished, entire families are sharing an area the size of one of our bathrooms at home with many other people. Below is a video showing the home of three families. The parents sleep on the beds, and bedding, cardboard, or clothing is put onto the floor for the children.

As we wandered through the area, we ended up at an 'informal pub.' We were led inside and asked to sit down. This is the part of the tour where were wondering whether or not this was an elaborate scheme to rob tourists. After all, we ended up here, at the Masincedane Pub.

The guide explained that the residents make their own beer and people come to sit and drink out of one communal bucket. They sit around in a circle from oldest to youngest and once the oldest person takes a slug out of the bucket, it gets passed around and the youngest person puts it back on the 'table,' which is a piece of wood on the floor, next to the other bucket that has wood burning in it to heat the shack.

Oh, and then it became clear that we were supposed to drink out of it.

OH. MY. GOD.

We got the vibe that it would have been really rude and uppity if we didn't partake. We both wanted to die. We watched the woman 'wash' the bucket we had just seen an old man drinking from. No soap, and no idea how many times the water had been used. We're counting the minutes until certain death... because we both blew off the froth and took a sip.

We finished off the tour a bit shellshocked. We were thankful for everything we had and heartbroken that people live this way though they are proud of what they've accomplished with what money they've managed to earn and rightly so. We had given money to the people's homes we visited and bought wooden salad tongs which we will never use from a woman selling her wares but it seemed so futile. Here are groups of hundreds of thousands of people (growing by 20,000 people per month, coming from the country and other countries seeking asylum) who do not have the means to buy a proper home let alone go to University (which costs about $10,000 give or take, depending on the program). Literacy is low as well which exacerbates the problem. Our guide told us that there is often money earmarked for things in the townships but the government is so corrupt that it often goes missing and that she gave up trying to change things about eight years ago. Sad. Still mulling things over in my head trying to process it all.

Once we were back at the hotel, we had the privilege of going for lunch. The concierge (who we have to get a picture of... his name is Hoon and he NEEDS to be in a movie, playing himself) booked us in at The Roundhouse in Camps Bay. Hoon also booked the hotel car to take us there and pick us up once we were finished. It was lovely... picnic style where you tick off everything you want that is listed on a big menu. We had thin crust pizza and ciabatta bread with jalapeño hummus, truffled cream cheese, and caramelized onion pate which all came in jars as spreads. We loved the concept, the setting, and the flavour of everything.

We also couldn't help but notice that the number of staff there were for us (we were the only table there for lunch; they had just opened for the season) who, no doubt (and confirmed by our tour guide), came from the townships. They get paid approximately R1500 to R2000 per month which works out to $200 to $300 per month. Our lunch was $80... what does a person say at this point?

Apartheid ended here in 1994 and though I never experienced South Africa before then, I can't imagine it would be much different than things are now. Two white boys having a glamour lunch with eight black people waiting to serve and meet our every need. Blurg.

Cape Grace Hotel

2011-10-03T06:50:00.001-07:00

There are a few things about this hotel that are spectacular. I can't help but write about them as I can't figure out how to work them into any of the other posts.

First, the flower arrangements in the foyer are amazing. The national flower of South Africa is the King Protea. There are many types of protea and they are my absolute favourite flower, especially variations of the pincushion protea. We have seen them everywhere, here, growing wild. We've asked La Residence, the hotel we're getting married at, for boutonnieres that are bright, punchy, and local to South Africa. We really should have been more specific. I'm hoping that one of these will be pinned to our suits.

There is also a crazy amount of talent around the hotel on the waterfront. Perhaps South Africans might think it's kitschy but for someone that's come from the other side of the world, it's really nice to hear and experience, especially since it's old gents that are amazing at what they do... even if the song they're playing is the theme from The Littlest Hobo.

So, the hotel we're staying in has a yacht you can charter. WTF!? Seriously. If you feel the need to take a private tour of the waterfront, you can book it for about $500/3 hours. I know that seems expensive BUT you get a free picnic. DEAL! Ya, so we won't be doing that.

There is also a really cool whiskey bar that is on the ground level of the hotel called Bascule. They have over 400 types of whiskey and we were given a free tasting by our travel agent (which we haven't taken yet). The tour guide we had yesterday, Mark September, mentioned something about a whiskey available there... 25 (?) years old, and if I did the conversion correctly, works out to be about several hundred dollars a shot. We also won't be having that (on the private yacht charter with the free picnic).

The hotel has also been very lovely with gifts they've bought up on a daily basis. We're not sure if we're getting them from our travel agent or if every guest gets these. For example, they brought up a package yesterday morning that was perfectly wrapped and contained bath products. Lovely.

What's interesting is that fact that the guy who brought us up to our room for the first time was mortified that I was referred to as 'Mrs. Kaltio' on a card but that we're still getting greetings like this on these gifts:

Listen, bitches. I'm Mr. Magee for another 5 days. How dare you!

Robben Island

2011-10-03T05:49:00.000-07:00

Today we booked a tour of Robben Island, where Nelson Mandela was locked up as a political prisoner for years and years. It was a beautiful day despite the fact it was supposed to be miserable so we were thrilled. Not sure our stomachs could have taken a half hour ferry ride on stormy seas.

The ferry departs about a 5 minutes walk away from the hotel which we were also thrilled about. We were up at about 3:30 a.m., had breakfast when it opened (6:30 a.m.) and tried desperately to have a snooze until we had to leave. Ryan was successful, I was not. Had I managed to fall asleep before the hydraulic lift/buzz saw (Ryan fell asleep before me), I might have had a chance.

We boarded the ferry with about 200 other people and we suddenly realized that we were in for 3 hours of 'tourist' time. People pushing, having to line up like cattle, and being packed onto busses that were cramped. Not our style at all. Not to say we need to have a private tour every time (which isn't even an option there) but I honestly think that I'd rather read a book about it than brave that again.

Given that we were packed into a bus, there wasn't a whole lot of photo opportunities. The guide (who was quite good, actually) would tell us about something on the opposite side from where we were sitting and we'd just take his word for it because there were a bunch of people standing up and blocking our view. We did get a few chances to hop off for photos, though, and this is about as scenic as it got.

Ryan got a cool shot as we were driving - a 'Penguin Crossing' sign. There are about 40,000 African Penguins on the island that nest in all of the bushes near the roads. They literally choose specific spots on the road that they are willing to cross together and then shit their own paint stripes across it so the cars know where to watch out for them. Amazing.

There is also a beautiful view of Cape Town from the island. While taking a picture of Ryan, I was fortunate enough to capture the rare South African Purple Hippo in her natural habitat (bitch was told by the tour guide to not go off of the pavement because there is an endangered bird species that have their nests in the grass beside the road and you wouldn't be able to tell if you stepped on one if you did). Like I said... 3 hours of 'tourist time.'

The tour guide we had for the island was not the same guide we had for the actual prison. Once we left the bus to tour the prison grounds, they had former prisoners taking us through and showing where they stayed, what it was like, etc. We thought this was brilliant. It was also nice to hear about some of the other prisoners (apart from Nelson Mandela) that South Africans think of as heroes.

That said, it is pretty much all about Nelson Mandela. Here is a picture of the outside of his cell (first window on the left... I think) and a picture of where he stayed for 12 years. Unbelievable that the man and everyone else that had to stay in the single room cells didn't go insane.

After what seemed like forever on the ferry, we got back to our natural habitat.

We had planned on going up to the top of Table Mountain after lunch but because it has been so windy the past few days (they won't operate the tram if the wind is over 40 km/hour), the concierge told us that once we shuttled there, it would be more than an hour wait to get to the top. We couldn't deal with that today so we are chilling in the room (and by chilling, I mean that the hydraulic lift/buzz saw is running in full force... (Ryan sleeping)... again...) and keeping our fingers crossed for tomorrow.

Cape Peninsula

2011-10-02T08:41:00.000-07:00

Ryan and I woke up this morning (Ryan at 3:45 a.m. and me at 5:00 a.m.) to gale force winds which apparently are quite common here given that the city is right in-between the mountains and the ocean. It wasn't looking great for a tour around the Cape Peninsula. By the time breakfast was over, though, it seemed to have cleared up. Our tour guide, Mark September, picked us up at our hotel and we were off.

We drove down the west coast, stopping along the way for a few photo ops. Turns out the wind really hand't died down at all. We were nearly getting blown off our feet and when were we close to sand, we had a mandatory exfoliation.

We snaked down the coast and eventually found ourselves at Cape Point. It is nearly the most south-western part of Africa and has spectacular views from the lighthouse at the top. They have a funicular (cable) car that takes you to the top but it wasn't working and lord knows we weren't going to hike up so we took a little shuttle. We got there just in time. LOADS of busses with gaggles of Japanese and German (a popular time for their countries to come) tourists showed up just as we were leaving.

We then took a quick drive down to the Cape of Good Hope. This is the the most south-western point in Africa. Thankfully our tour guide was well prepared for this part of the tour. All of those tourists were on our heels to get a picture exactly like the one below. People basically lose their shit when it comes to snapping this shot because everyone wants it and there is absolutely no order. Our guide schooled a bunch of girls that tried to run in front of us and we were thankful. We're Canadian, after all. What is it with our culture? We probably would have apologized to those girls for trying to take our rightful turn when they didn't want to wait.

As we were driving back from Cape Point and the Cape of Good Hope, we spotted a few baboons lurking about. From what we were told they are a huge problem in the area. They have been fed by humans in the past so they are very aggressive when it comes to food, especially since the area does not have an abundance of things they can eat with a high calorie content. We were instructed to close the window immediately if they started coming towards us because they would come into the vehicle. Throughout the day, we also saw penguins, whales, ostrich, mongoose, elands, and a bunch of other furry things I'd never heard of before. Pretty cool seeing these things in the wild.

We went for lunch at Seaforth Restaurant afterward and learned a few things about our tour guide. Mark's last name, September, comes from his ancestors who were sold as slaves in the month of September. Apparently, you can look in the phone book here and find every month of the year. The guy is an encyclopedia on everything from history, to plant species, to the size of whale testicles. Seriously... did you know they weighed 500 kg. EACH? Geez, and I thought mine were big... Anyway, he's a great guy and his tour is a great orientation to the city if you ever find yourself here.

Right next door to the restaurant were a colony of penguins. They usually live on islands but their habitats are being overfished, if I remember correctly. This colony has also started disappearing as well but they're not sure why. They're moulting right now which means they can't eat for an entire month because they're not waterproof. Makes for some bitchy penguins.

We were given the choice of doing a wine tasting next or going to a little town that had a bunch of kitschy shops to look through. Duh! No brainer. We drove to the Steenberg Winery for a wine tasting and picked up a couple bottles to bring to back to the hotel room. Food and drink in this country is really quite inexpensive which is a nice surprise considering how much hotels and safari costs.

Finally, we went Kirstenbosch Botanical Gardens. Like the animals, there were so many plants we'd never seen before, many of them not even looking real. 3000 year old trees, prehistoric plants, and neon flowers everywhere.

It was a spectacular day. We ended it by going to dinner at Reuben's in a hotel called One and Only and managed to stay up until 9:00 p.m. Woo hoo! Now, for whatever reason, I'm the one that's up at 3:30 a.m. I am not a fan of jet lag.

Cape Town

2011-10-01T03:13:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure of the time, date, or day of the week, but we're here! We've never been further from home - 16,000 k.m./10,000 miles. We are incredibly bleary but couldn't be happier.

Our flight from London to Cape Town was fantastic. The plane we were in had one of the upgraded cabins we were wanting. We were excited about it but to be honest, we like the older cabins just as much although it was nice to have a collapsable partition between us so we could talk throughout the flight. We slept most of the way, anyway, and stole another two sets of pyjamas.

We woke up as we were flying over Windhoek, Namibia. We had breakfast because, again, we had worked up a real appetite after sitting on our ass for 11 hours. As we descended, we got little glimpses of where we were about to land. This would have been a great flight to have a window seat on. Oh well. What I saw was good enough for me.

Cape Town's airport is quite small and we made it through fairly quickly. I wouldn't normally post about the airport but this time, I can't help it. As we stood there waiting for our suitcases, three security guards came out of an office - all with BEAGLES - sniffing for bombs and drugs, I suppose. Obviously none of them were as cute as Walter but thankfully they were just as dumb. Not one found the brick of heroin in our carry-on.

A driver from our hotel met us at the airport at about 8:00 a.m. local time and we drove straight to the hotel. Our room wasn't ready until noon so they gave us access to a 'day-use' room so we could shower. We cleaned up, stowed our bags at the hotel, and went wandering around the waterfront. Table Mountain is and was especially beautiful today. I'm sure it happens often enough but a thick blanket of clouds spilled off the top, rolling down the sides and disappeared before they hit the ground. It was a sight to be seen. Our driver said it was called 'The Table Cloth' that was coming down. Fitting. It made a spectacular backdrop to our hotel.

We had about 4 hours to kill before our room was ready so we wandered around the waterfront and window-shopped. After about an hour, we stumbled on the Two Oceans Aquarium. We figured, what the hell? Probably not our best idea given that we were jet lagged and bitchy. SWARMS of children. Kind of cool even still but not our best decision.

We were very thankful once we got the keys to our room. We were walking around like zombies for a good portion of the time we were out and about... but we snapped out of it once we were led to our suite. Woot! This is the way to start of a trip!

The room is amazing but there was just one thing missing... (don't judge us!... we miss our little nugget).

We're currently doing our best to stay awake until 6:00 p.m. to try and reset our internal clocks. I'm not sure we're going to be successful (as I watch Ryan nod off while looking at his iPad) but we'd better try because we've got a full day booked tomorrow - a tour of the Cape Peninsula. Can't wait!

Half Way... ish

2011-09-30T07:29:00.000-07:00

Bad news. Our plane's first class hadn't been upgraded yet. We had to slum it the entire way here on seats that were at LEAST three years old. Truly devastating. Once we had gotten over our shock and horror, we slipped into our complimentary pyjamas and socks, and nestled in. We slept most of the way and managed to wake ourselves up for breakfast which came at about 4:00 a.m. Vancouver time. We were a little bleary but happy to be arriving in London so we could head straight for the Concorde Lounge.

One of the perks of flying first class was getting ushered straight past the snarling line of bitchy travellers waiting to go through security. SO fantastic. Even more fantastic was taking a shower once we got here. The lounge has pretty much everything you would want and everything is complimentary... showers, beds to take a nap in, wine, and fine dining.

Once we were cleaned up a bit, we decided to have a meal in the dining room (I was trying to figure out if it was breakfast, lunch, or dinner but I really couldn't tell you), you know, because we were starving... or something.

We figured we might see some stars in the lounge considering we're in London. So far, no luck. Only Kirsten Dunst. A couple more hours and we're off to Cape Town. Can't wait!

Up, Up, and Away!

2011-09-29T16:56:00.000-07:00

Woot! The day has finally come for us to leave! Ryan took all the luggage with him this morning in a cab to his office (which is just around the corner from the airport) and I met him there at about 2:30 p.m. this afternoon. We were packed but we weren't totally prepared to leave... especially my forehead. Momma needed a little 'touch up,' if you know what I mean. Hey, I've got to start practicing for my up coming 'trophy wife' role.

Once I was finished being juiced up with Botulinum Toxin, we were off to the airport via Tammy (One of Ry's assistants/our friend) and her newly acquired BEAST. Turns out when you drive one of these, you don't have to signal. Learn something new every day.

Once we got here we checked in and headed straight for the British Airways lounge in the International Terminal at YVR. Yes, I had to get a picture of the 'First' screen with Ry standing in front of it. We're milking every drop out of this flight.

Man, it feels SO good to be here. It's not just the free champagne and whiskey, either. The bliss of turning off the email and calendar functions on my iPhone was a treat in itself. The free champagne and whiskey doesn't hurt, either. More in London.

Getting Ready

2011-09-23T17:05:00.000-07:00

It has been around 15 (LONG) months since our last vacation and we can't WAIT to leave for South Africa. Well, if we're being honest, we did escape to Bordessono in Yountville, CA (Napa Valley) for a weekend in Spring but I'm not counting that trip because I (Jess) had just finished cancer treatments. A really shitty couple of months balanced with a really great couple of days restores some sanity but doesn't constitute a vacation. Even though it's been such a wait, the trip kind of snuck up on us. We've been spending most of our time renovating the townhouse we bought in Whistler and slowly sorting wedding 'business' out. Things were kind of ho-hum until we got this email from British Airways... go ahead... click on it.

Wheeeee! You sure don't get reminders like this when you're flying coach! We saved our BA points for about 6 years and are flying all the way to Cape Town and back First Class. Not Business Class... FIRST. Just for fun, we went online to buy the tickets to see what they would cost. For the two round-trip tickets we would have had to shell out $47,000 (well, there would be no 'shelling' because there isn't $47K to spend). Can you believe that?! Seriously, what the hell? The best part is, BA has been in the process of renovating all of their First Class cabins. We found a blog that did a review of the new seats. Amazing. I'm sure we won't get the upgraded cabins on all of the legs but even one would be great.

We spent this past weekend at Walter's babysitter's house (Ryan's mom). We felt extremely guilty leaving him there but he's in the best of hands. In fact, Ry's mom sent a picture of him looking through her living room window to reassure us he's in heaven. Here's a picture of Walter 'hunting' through the window. Just to be clear, I promise this will be the last picture we post of him. Ryan has ordered his mother to send a new picture of Walter every day we're away. Yes, we're THOSE people.

The next few days will be spent buying last minute items like malaria pills, new underwear, and currency converters. We've been packing for awhile but so far we've just focused on the essentials... you know, like wedding socks and a bottle of 2001 Chateau Rauzan-Segla that we bought in Bordeaux, France which we plan on drinking the day of our wedding; we bought it there, where we were engaged there two years ago.

We are, however, making progress in the packing department. Our second bedroom has turned into 'The Packing Room' which is a good sign.

I also picked up our South African Rand (ZAR) this afternoon, too. I'm not sure if they gave me small bills but I feel like we're dealing with Monopoly money if they haven't. That, or we bought WAY too much. Can't say I've ever been handed banded wads of cash before.

Now all we need to do is get through 3 more days of work. Damn near impossible if you ask me.

Dear Mother Nature...

2010-12-27T19:40:00.000-08:00

Kiss our ASS! Ryan and I were supposed to be flying into LaGuardia Airport yesterday but as fate would have it, our flight coincided with the biggest snowstorm New York has seen in recent history. We arrived at Vancouver airport at 5:00 a.m. and were home by 6:30 a.m. with packed bags and frowns on our faces. We spent about an hour trying to figure out where else we could fly to for a couple days but ended up asking for our airline points back and heading back to Ry's mom's house to pick up our dog.

The next few hours were spent canceling our meal reservations at Jean Georges, Scarpetta, Bar Boulud, Balthazar, and Maialino and convincing The London not to charge us a fee for ditching the hotel last minute. We tried desperately to get some of the $1200 back we had spent on theatre tickets but it just wasn't happening. There will be empty seats at La Cage Aux Folles, Promises Promises, Spiderman, and the Trockadero Ballet.

I didn't really believe it was as bad as the news was reporting it was out East. I mean, when it snows in Vancouver - and we're talking a light dusting - people freak out and forget how to drive. Then I watched a video via Towelroad and it all sunk in:

December 2010 Blizzard Timelapse from Michael Black on Vimeo.

So, we're having a stay-cation. I'm not sure what entails but I'm guessing it means that EVERYTHING can be justified whether it be food, beverages (which I've had a head start on), or shopping. Happy Holidays everyone. Ours might be expensive!

Mandarin Oriental Las Vegas

2010-10-28T18:05:00.000-07:00

So here we are in Vegas, it has been two years since we were here last to see Madonna (almost 2 years ago to the day actually). Last time we were here the City Centre development was a mass of scaffolding. Today we are staying at the new Mandarin Oriental there and it is lovely. It is a non-gaming hotel (the Four Seasons is the only other non-gaming hotel here) and thus very peaceful and quiet and totally focused on customer service. We love hotels and love exquisite service so we will be sure to keep our eyes out for any slip ups!!! Here is a view of our room:

Knocking off one more city on the way home!

2010-07-18T16:59:00.000-07:00

So we are home! We came home to our condo clean and staged with fresh cut flowers, crisp linens and fresh groceries in the fridge to buffer the blow of coming back to reality. Thank you to our great friend Dalyn (the mother of our goddaughter, almost 2). Yes, she is superwoman, 2 year old child and time to come given the condo the Four Seasons treatment, we love her!

We always dread the end of vacation mainly due to having to go back to work but in reality Vancouver is an amazing place to come home to. The weather is 21C and sunny right now, perfection, and as I sit at the dining table, writing this, this is the view I look out over, it is pretty sweet.

But we do LOVE our travels and made most of our trip home. We had an overnight flight from Singapore to Seoul (6hrs). As we taxied to the runway the captain informed us to expect a rough flight from hour 2 to hour 4 due to us catching the tail of the typhoon that came through a day ago, sweet! We were both really tired when we boarded and both went straight to sleep on takeoff. Jess felt absolutely none of the turbulence the captain mentioned and when I did wake up I took reference of "wow, this is bumpy, but it could be worse" and feel right back asleep.

We arrived at ICN the aiport for Seoul at 7:30 am for a 9 hour layover and booked at 5 hour city tour. Quick costume change and we were off. Jess and I have this goal of trying to "pin" as many world cities and countries on our travel map as possible. A layover in an airport doesn't count but a tour of the city does, so we have now "pinned" Seoul, South Korea and the country of Korea!!

The airport in Seoul is brand spanking new, it opened in 2001 and was built on 2 islands that were filled in to make one. The building is an architectural masterpiece. The airport (just like Singapore's) is set up to make it the most appealing hub as possible. Check out these FREE amenities that were offered in either Singapore or Korea while you wait: swimming pool, suntanning area, sleeping lounges, showers, hand craft areas. The airport was gorgeous, like walking through the most beautiful high end shopping mall.

SIDEBAR: Hello Canada, America, Europe you had better watch your back. Asia has it going on. The money being spent here is amazing. Economic "turndown", not happening here!! The way our airlines/airports run and the way they treat people are light years away from the Asian philosophy. In Asia they have figured out that being nice and smiling doesn't cost alot of money. Okay, stepping down from the soapbox.

Our tour of Seoul took us to a number of city sites, the main one being Gyeongbokgung Palace (say that 5 times fast, try even say it once, I had no idea what the hell she was saying every time our guide mentioned it).

(Apparently, this is the "IN" pose when taking a photo Asia, we like to try blend in)

We were taken to a pedestrian mall to do some shopping.I think this is some kind of larva stew, icky. The old woman cooking it was tasting the sauce the way you would taste your spaghetti sauce to make sure it was perfectly seasoned, yuck!
Lunch was Korean barbequed beef. Okay but not my fave.We flew home on Air Canada in Executive First (business). Air Canada revamped their planes a couple of years ago to put private "suites" with lie flat beds in business (we call them pods). The seats are great and are actually really comfortable to sleep in (especially if you order a side of Halcion ;) ) The service though is another story, more dinosaurs on board barely hiding how much they hate their job.

Our plane had a little mechanically difficulty and we had to wait in the aircraft for 2.5 hours before we could leave the gate. The free flowing Champagne made this a non-issue.

We both slept the entire flight and it was an absolute breeze.

Home now, looking at my new "Travel and Leisure" that arrived listing the worlds best hotels and airlines and dreaming about where to next. FYI Singapore Airlines is number one (Cathay is 5, Miss Hart, luv ya) No airline from North America makes the list, shocking!! Of the hotels we stayed at on this trip the Four Seasons in Singapore, Hong Kong and Jimbaran Bay (Bali) are near top rated on this years list, nice.

Jess and I go to Comox tomorrow to pick up our angel (and celebrate mother's birthday) and we can't wait. We have missed him so much.

Back in Singapore

2010-07-17T05:49:00.000-07:00

Quick blog post from Singapore. We have 4 hours here before we have a snooze on the overnight flight to Seoul where we will spend the day doing a city tour.

So Jess got the damn Bali belly last night and he was up and down all night. He was not a happy camper this morning but he bounced back after an extended sleep and we managed to enjoy our last moments at Amankila by chilling in a bale by the pool and having a nice lunch.We had a driver to the airport and again traffic was a nightmare, pure chaos.
The drive was only made enjoyable when the driver asked us if we would like a soft drink, water or beer for the drive. We had soft drinks, of course.
We flew Singapore Airlines in business class from Bali to Singapore and again the service was top notch, perfection. The airport here is also over the top glam, classical music playing, high end shops, so calm and organized.

We are chilling in the business class lounge where no less than 12 hot dishes are served (I counted), a sandwich station, sushi station, desert station, you name it. Never mind the free flowing champagne or whatever else you want. It kind of reminds us of the United lounge in Seattle where we were given a ticket for a free drink and there were some nut packets and some fruit to choose from.

Anyhow, we are on our way home and feel ready to come home (weird). We try post something in Seoul after our tour.

Phew! He Can Fart!

2010-07-16T01:01:00.001-07:00

Seriously. It was a happy moment when Ry let out a little toot. The sound meant there was no follow through... no more risk of a 'shart.' I, on the other hand, am having to make sure I don't make any 'bubbles' in the pool. Could make for a very dangerous, embarrassing situation.

Last night we went to a Balinese dance. It was actually great, despite the fact that we had to listen to Balinese music (it's starting to become quite taxing). The performance doesn't usually happen on a (here's where I pretend to know what day it is...) Thursday but some rich dude that arrived here yesterday realized he missed it an hired them all to come back. The pictures are terrible and of course, we left the good camera in the room, which seems to be a theme this trip but it will give you a bit of an idea.
After the show, Ry's stomach was still a bit wonky so we went to the room and had dinner there. I had a sandwich and he had ice-cream. It's the only thing he could think of that didn't make him want to wretch. It was beautiful once we got there. They had the lightening set perfectly and had candles surrounding the pool.
Since Ryan was whistlin' Dixie out of his ass this morning, we went for breakfast and headed down to the beach where we spent the entire day. It was bliss. There are a few 'bales' right down at the water where you can basically get waited on hand and foot and there is no requirement to move. Not great for the waistline but I can worry about that when I get home. Apart from a quick walk down the beach, it was lounging, glamour lunch, reading (even Ryan), and snoozing.
The hike back up wasn't as fun but we forced ourselves. We were about to call for a buggy and realized we were being tailed by senior citizens. Motivating, to say the least.
We both managed, somewhere in the last couple of days, to completely fry ourselves. My skin colour went from 'Winterscape'... you know, frosty white with occasional flecks of blue, LOBSTER. I made sure I was in the shade at all times but didn't account for sun reflecting off of water, or something. I can hardly stand the laptop anywhere near my stomach because the heat is enough to send me through the roof.

Tomorrow we leave for the airport. I think we're both ready to go. It's been total heaven but all of my bras don't fit and it's time to reign it in. We've got a long haul ahead of us. Bali to Singapore to Seoul to Vancouver. We've got tomorrow morning and 12 hours in Seoul so I'm sure we'll do another blog posting before we get home.

Amankila

2010-07-15T01:15:00.000-07:00

We arrived at Amankila yesterday but have been struggling with getting a strong enough internet connection to upload pictures or video. We had to trek down to the library and upload as much as we could because we weren't able to in our room. The video came out grainy but hey, it's something. That said, we haven't had a whole lot of activity to report on. Ryan spent the last two days like this.

Turns out he got Bali-Belly. Basically, it makes you fire out of both ends and leaves you with no appetite. He's slowly starting to come out of his funk thanks in part to our surroundings. Again, totally amazing.

Here are some more pictures of our room and hotel. I'd love to write more but it has taken forever to get this video and these pictures up, and there is some kind of dance show starting shortly. Hopefully we can post some pictures of it tomorrow.
(I'm not sure I'd want to be a gardener at this resort).

Trouble In Paradise

2010-07-14T02:05:00.000-07:00

My apologies. We are in the middle of nowhere and our internet connection is not letting us load photos. We'll try and figure it out for tomorrow.

So, when Ryan gets sick it's usually quite superficial. The boy has a strong immune system and apart from sniffles and the occasional cold, he's healthy all the time. I don't know what it is about holidays but he always crashes at least for one day. To give you some sort of indication how bad it is this time, he hasn't eaten since yesterday and he ordered a virgin (there you go, Alex) cocktail at lunch and didn't drink it, opting to leave me to eat my meal while he slept. I'll save you the details but it ain't pretty. I'm wondering if I got a touch of what he's got. No fever for me but lets just say the bathroom is getting a run for it's money.

We... er, I had breakfast in the room at Sayan and then packed while Ryan stayed in bed. Our car met us at noon and we made the trek to our new destination. Again, it was 43 kilometers and it took us just under 2 hours to get there. We were dodging chickens, dogs, children, and anything else you can possibly think of. To make matters worse, it is a year that the Balinese have their Cremation Ceremonies (happens every 5 years). People are buried temporarily until this time, but they must be cremated "as otherwise the path to reincarnation is cut off." It is possible to have a separate cremation without burial, without waiting, if the family is willing to pay the substantial cost. Needless to say, there are a lot of dead people that need cremating and traffic was a nightmare.

We got here and... wow. Just, wow. The room isn't as fancy as the last place we stayed (still amazing) but the setting is spectacular! I'll leave it at that for right now. We'll do a video of the room once Ryan is feeling better and everything is cleaned up... oh, and we can post pictures.

One last day in Sayan!

2010-07-13T00:39:00.000-07:00

Today is our last day/night at the Four Seasons Sayan before we move on to our last property and if I have done my planning correctly, we have saved the best for last. To be honest, we have stayed at some pretty amazing places so far on this trip but these last two Bali properties have been something else. The level of service here is mind blowing. Every staff member knows your name, even if you have never met them. We have asked a number of them how they know who we are and there answers vary from `I used to be in the FBI` (and then a chuckle) to `That is a secret of the Four Seasons.` Anyhow, it always impresses us. Yesterday we were in our buggy back from lunch at the Riverside restaurant and the driver asked if our villa was big enough with a huge smile on his face (it`s 2100 sq ft!) and we said YES it is big enough and he then proceeded to take us on a tour of the biggest villa on the property. Oh my god, 11000 sq ft, butlers quarters, freaking gorgeous!! Yesterday after dinner in our buggy back from dinner (we don`t walk anymore, fyi) we commented on the amazing smell of flowers in the air and the driver stopped the buggy and ran off into the darkness to pick us a flower so we could see where the smell was coming from. You get the picture, they can`t do enough for you here, every person from the gardener to the housekeeper has a huge smile and the best attitude you could imagine.
This is housekeeping, check out the woman balancing the basket on her head, impressive!!

Jess and I are torn as to whether we love our current Sayan (jungle) property or the Jimbaran (beach) property more. They are so different and both so gorgeous. I think which ever one you stay at first would have the most wow. The first time you step into a 2100 sq ft room with a private pool it kinda blows your mind. The 2nd time, its kinda like, uh huh, another private pool! (Joking!!)

During this trip Jess and I have taken up a new hobby, LAUNDRY!!! Check it out, you put some panties and a t-shirt in a bag and a few hours later this arrives, so fun!!!This morning I did find a MAJOR service flaw though, check out this photo:

The soap was not aligned in the soap dish by the bathtub!!! I was horrified and immediately called housekeeping to have someone come to the room to rectify the situation.

Also we had to contend with the following critters on the property:as well an numerous lizard and frogs but worst of all we found the following:

MORE GAYS!!!! THEY ARE EVERYWHERE!!!!

Truly though, I am a huge Four Seasons fan. The gorgeous properties and consistent service around the world are second to none. Jess and I have joked that one of goals is to stay at every Four Seasons in the world (12 down, 71 to go). That said, those stays at the properties in Saudi Arabia are going to be a little tricky. The choice is between getting beheaded or two twin beds, hmm, we`ll go with the twin beds.

Today Jess went to the spa and I went to the salon to have my hair styled:Actually, we both went to the spa and had a 90 minute facial. It was pure heaven, head massage, including hand and foot massage while we had our face mask. Again, so worth every cent and more!!!
After spa we went to the Ayung Terrace restaurant for some lunch and then back to enjoy our last day in our villa with cocktails and plunges!
This place truly is magical. In all the reviews I have read I heard that over and over and thought, ya right?? But it really is true, as I sat on our terrace overlooking the jungle I felt so sad we have to leave tomorrow.

Tonight we watched a Balinese dance performance and took dinner in our villa afterward. The performance was very "Girlie Show" Vogue, you people in the know know exactly what I mean.

Anyhow, off to Amankila tomorrow for the grand finale, super excited!!!!!

Looks like the typhoon heading this way should hit just about the time we are heading home, great, I hate bumpy airplane rides, makes it so hard to drink my red wine!!

Take Me To The River

2010-07-12T03:29:00.000-07:00

We were not really sure what to do with our time in Ubud so we got a few tips from the concierge. One of the options was to ride an elephant so we looked online to see what people thought of it. I know there are some similar excursions where the elephants are rescued and free to roam but apparently these elephants are chained to pegs in the ground so we weren't willing to support that. Instead, we decided to go whitewater rafting. We were so glad we did! The tour picked us up at the hotel and brought us to the main building where we were outfitted with helmets, life jackets, and oars. Once we were suited up, we took a long hike down the cliff to the river to the boats.
Once we got to the boats, we were dripping with sweat and had to wait for the rest of the first group to get there. We were offered water which we were grateful for and instead of paper cups, they had wrapped banana leaves to hold our drinks.
Oh, and I've got to mention... I have an ENORMOUS head and I always dread activities where I have to wear a helmet. One size fits all, MY ASS! Case in point:
After a safety demonstration, we were off on the Ayung River. 'Ayung' means 'Beautiful Woman' and was she ever. We obviously had to put our camera in a waterproof bag but we were able to stop at a few stops for a photo oportunity. The first was at this magnificent waterfall. The whole ride looked like a jungle movie scene complete with the vines hanging from the trees, and ancient carvings into the rock faces for about 2 k.m. So beautiful. The photos we took are a bit foggy because our camera got soaked but at least we were able to capture something.
The next stop was one of the many shantis set up where locals haul down (about 400 m.) drinks to sell to the groups that come down. It's a hard living... and once we saw they had local beer, we only thought it right to support them. There were cows roaming around as well. We were in another world.
As we were eating lunch (provided by the rafting company) we lost our appetite having to watch these 50+, skinny women hauling all of our boats up 300 meters worth of stairs on their heads. There was something so wrong about this. We followed soon after and had to work our way through a ton of people trying to sell us things... wooden carvings, Bintang (local beer) T-shirts. Such a hard living all around... and a reminder of how fortunate we are.
We came back and had something to eat, and then took a 15 minute shuttle to the centre of Ubud to see what the shopping district had to offer. I'd been there once before but did not remember how chaotic it was. Hot, stinky, scooters, stray dogs, incense, a crush of people... thank goodness we were only there for two hours. We had intentions of buying something small as a token from Bali but couldn't find the shops that the hotel recommended (guaranteed not to get ripped off).
We got off the busy street and took a quick look at a temple. Even this was swarmed with people so we took a few pictures and went for a drink while we waited for the shuttle back to the hotel.
So, we're going to find something to eat for dinner... and enjoy our air-conditioning. It is another torrential downpour outside, I guess that is the norm here in the mountains, with be sunshine in the morning. I will be sure to wear something with traction tonight!!!

For Melissa and Dalyn

2010-07-11T05:48:00.000-07:00

So tonight we went for dinner at one of the Four Seasons Sayan's restaurants. Jess has been on my case because I have insisted he dress up for dinner, we are in a nice place you know!! So he slipped into his expensive Gucci loafers with super polished leather soles and headed out into the torrential downpour to descend the super polished stairs into the restaurant. The following reenactment tells the story. All I can say as it happened and the restaurant guests gasped below all I could think is, Oh my god Melissa and Dalyn are going to love this!!!
The worst part is every time anyone came by our table they had to ask him if he was okay. "Would you like more bread sir, and are you okay, I am so sorry our stairs are so slippery"..."Would you like some more water, I am so sorry our stairs are so narrow, are you okay". Anyhow, I thought it was great blog material!!!!

Welcome To The Jungle

2010-07-11T00:29:00.001-07:00

Check out time at the Four Seasons Jimbaran Bay was noon today so we lounged for a bit, went for breakfast, and went swimming in the main hotel pool. It was the one thing we hadn't done so we took a plunge (look closely at the top of the waterfall).
After our swim we still had a bit more time to kill so we took our last stroll down the beach at Jimbaran Bay. The waves were swelling and the surfers were out in full force.
Our car was waiting at the hotel at noon and we were on our way to Sayan. The 40 k.m. trip takes about an hour and a half... for a number of reasons. Most of the way there, the road isn't wide enough for two cars and considering there is a scooter on both sides of the road and one in between the cars, it makes for a tight squeeze. That or someone decides to unload their load of gravel in one of the lanes. I totally had thoughts of Taiwan only they drive on the other side of the street here. Scary. (I, Ryan, thought the drive would be a meandering country road into the mountains, WRONG!)
I was kicking myself for not having the camera ready in the car. We passed a scooter with two adults on it and a two year old standing on the seat in between them and the driver had a bawling baby strapped to her chest with what looked tote bag. Of course, no one was wearing a helmet. Mental. Oh, and I was also going mental. Our driver asked if he could turn on music. Sure! we thought. "Do you like Balinese?" he said. sure... we. thought. We have a really slow internet connection, otherwise I would make a link for you. If you want to hear what we listened to for 90 MINUTES, google Balinese Legong. Sweet mother of god... it sounds like a child with a xylophone.

We drove up into the mountains and turned off of a busy, litter-filled street and down a long path to the Four Seasons Sayan and again paradise. Wow, wow, wow... totally different than Jimbaran Bay but just as lovely. Here are some pictures of the hotel. The architecture of the place fits in perfectly with it's surroundings. They have rice patties surrounding the rooms and suites, and the top of the hotel is an enormous lily pond. It is unbelievable. This property is much smaller with around 63 villas while the last place had over 200. That said, they still drive you around in buggies. It's hard to get a good shot of the main building but hopefully these pictures give you an idea.
Our villa wasn't quite ready when we arrived so we went for lunch. Talk about an amazing place to eat... and one of the best places to have a non-virgin Chi Chi I've ever seen.
After lunch our villa was ready and a buggy pulled up to drive us there. We could have easily walked but they insisted. Um, I wouldn't even be able to do it justice with words so you'll have to look for yourself. Amazing.

We plunged for awhile and then look at stroll around the grounds. It poured here for about and hour which was actually really refreshing. With the heat it felt like you were in a hot shower. Somehow it makes getting soaked a lot easier to stomach (as opposed to walking a dog that hates rain 2 k.m. to work when it's gray, overcast, and freezing) and all we had to do to 'press' our shirts for dinner was to hang them outside for a few minutes. Tomorrow we've got a few things planned so we're excited. Ryan is hellbent on seeing a monkey, (maybe one will come on our terrace and steal something), so we've got to figure that out as well. More to come.

Spaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!! Can I do anything else for you? Yes, touch me like that again, please.

2010-07-09T22:59:00.000-07:00

I guess it's my turn to write a blog posting. Hello People!! Today is our last day at Jimbaran Bay before we transfer to Ubud which is located in the centre of the island and is the cultural heart of Bali. I have to say this Resort has totally blown us away, our villa is gorgeous, the grounds are like you are living in a botanical garden (80 gardeners are employed to maintain them!), the staff is amazing (they remember your name even if they have seen you once, how??), and the food is delicious. The photos do not do this place justice. This definitely the nicest place we have ever stayed!! I did tonnes of research before booking the Bali leg of our trip. Bali is loaded with very high end resorts at great prices so the decision was difficult. Of the three places we will be staying this one was supposed to be the worst. Either I got things wrong or we are in for something amazing to come?
Today we had booked a couples spa treatment. We were a little reluctant to do the spa thing as our experience has always been that they are totally not worth the money but we had a $100 credit to use so we went for it. For me a massage is a little like being trapped in hell for an hour, having a stranger dig their knuckles into my back causing the muscle to enter spasm is just not fun. I selected the "Ocean Opulence Experience," and with a name like that it had to be good plus the description has lots of soaking, scrubbing and rehydrating in it, no mention of massage, yeah! Last night a spa reminder card for Mr. and Mrs. Magee arrived (Magee???!!!!).

This morning we had our breakfast at the restaurant overlooking the Indian Ocean while Balinese men serenaded us. We then headed back to our villa for a quick plunge in our pool before heading off to the spa. The service at the spa from the moment we entered was sublime. Cold mint scented clothes, watermelon and juice as we filled out our forms, lovely.
We were then escorted to the change room and handed various pieces of fabric to slip into, paper panties, a sarong, robe and slippers, we rocked it!!I assumed the next step would be slipping through the door labeled "spa pavilion" to our waiting treatment room.....nope! We were escorted to the front reception area to wait for our buggy to take us to the beach. Are you kidding me, we're going to the beach!!?? We are not going through an "exposed body in public" phase right now! Anyhow, off we went in our "outfits" being whisked to the beach for all the other resort guest to see, they all smiled politely as we passed. The "beach" ended up being a gorgeous grassy escarpment on a cliff with the waves crashing below, it was absolutely stunning and in a part of the property we didn't even know existed. We later walked by to see the area set up for a wedding, I guest we could have killed two birds with one stone had we known.The treatment was absolute perfection and worth every cent and more. Foot soak in sea water while having our heads massaged with oil, foot salt scrub, Balinese massage with coconut oil and heated smooth sea shells (1.5 hours), full body salt scrub, couples shower on the beach, full body coconut lotion application and then fresh coconut drinks. We both sat drinking our drinks after the treatment in shock of how amazing the experience had been. Jess informed me (after the treatment) that he actually didn't want to do this today because of our less than stellar experiences in the past but was so glad we did. I am already looking at the spa menu at our next resort and fantasizing.

After lunch and a plunge in our villa pool we headed out to Coconut Grove a quiet little enclave on the beach that is part of the resort. We relaxed, read our books (I read 3 pages), drank some beer (I had 2! with lime to disguise its disgusting taste) and listened to music while people passed by. It was actually quite lovely, I had forgetten that chilling can be fun, too!!!When we checked into our villa on the first day the card from the manage said "Welcome to paradise!", we couldn't agree more!!
No matter how much fun we are having we have to say our little angel Walter is not far from our minds. My mom, "Walter's Gram" is doing a great job of caring for him and that makes us feel good. We think our little nugget may not want to leave his country life with Gram and her many treats to come home to Vancouver. (No gram doesn't keep him in a cage, he is on the patio) How cute is he???

Glamour and Gutter

2010-07-09T01:37:00.001-07:00

Today we actually slept in. It could have been the obscene amount of Italian food we ate last night at the hotel... or the fountain outside... or the fan... or the air-conditioning. Regardless, we were happy to sleep past 4:30 a.m.
Go figure we actually had something booked this morning. The hotel offers a cooking class that includes a tour of the local fish market and supermarket and we were really excited to go. As soon as we got there I realized what we were in for. It reminded me of Taiwan. Smells that absolutely rape your nostrils, dodging scooters left and right, heartbreaking cases of emaciated dogs and puppies, and the reminder that no matter how bad things seem to be, it isn't as bad as other people have it. It's actually the chef here that takes you to both places, goes through the process of how the products come to Bali and end up at the restaurant to cook.
Once we finished at both markets we went to the building that held our cooking class on "the property." Again, it was like stepping into another reality. Clean, pristine, and catering to those who don't have to worry about much. The security is ridiculously high after the terrorist bombing at a Bali nightclub in 2002 which means even the hotel vehicles get a security check (including under-mirrors and dogs) every time they drive into the grounds.
As far as our cooking class went, everything was pre-cleaned, pre-chopped, and pre-pared. We just threw a few things into a pot and sat back, pretending we cooked it. We were coupled with a father and son from England, and an Egyptian couple living in Montreal. It was a 6 hour process so we actually got to know them somewhat and it ended up being a lot of fun.
The menu was Asian inspired so it consisted of Tom Yum Soup, Chicken and Prawn Gyoza, and Vegetarian Mie Goreng. It was an amazing menu for me. Ryan, not so much. I had to plow through a bit of it so that he didn't look like he didn't like it.
Once we 'graduated from the class' we went for a drink at one of the main buildings. So, I have to say something about wine here. We haven't been drinking any. Apparently in Bali, the tax on wine is outrageous. Ryan has been DYING. For example, a glass of Yellowtail (Read: $10 a bottle in Canada) is about $17 per glass here. Needless to say, we have been sticking to beer. O'kay, maybe he treated himself to one glass...
We went for a walk on the beach once we were done. So lovely. Hot, and lovely. Pretty incredible to be in this part of the world.
Once we were done, it was back to cool off at our private plunge pool... with a drink or two... and Barney.

Bali And Bare Bottoms

2010-07-08T01:35:00.001-07:00

Let's start with last night. If I started with right now, it would be anticlimactic. We went for light(er) dinner at a place called the New Asia Bar on floor 71 of the Swissotel. It was actually a great way to spend our last night in Singapore.
As great as our evening was, we had a bit of a situation our last night in Singapore. There was an extended family on our floor that had rented three rooms. There were children running up and down the hallways until midnight, they threw all of their trash and dirty room service dishes into the hallway and then on the last night, the patriarch decided it was time to start smoking on our non-smoking floor. Ignite Homo-Hurricane! The poor girl that had to come up and talk to those bitches. They were complete assholes (we were listening with our ear to the door, of course). The hotel actually comped 50% of our room rate that night and considering it was a 3 nights for 2 promotion, we actually did fairly well.

We flew to Bali economy on Singapore Airlines (we couldn't get this leg on points) and it was actually quite nice. Hot towels and a hot meal on a 2 hour flight... I mean, you're not going to get that flying on Westjet flying from Vancouver to Saskatoon. We chewed on our knees but hey, it was quick. We got to Bali at about noon and met our driver at the gate. After a quick 20 minute drive we were at The Four Season Jimbaran Bay "hotel." I say "hotel" because the property is absolutely enormous.
We were driven to our "room" on a golf cart because it was quite far away. It was quite far away because each "room" isn't a room. It's a PROPERTY. Watch this video at your own risk. It will ruin any pleasure from any hotel room you stay in ever again.

We went for lunch shortly after, checked out the property and resort pool, and took full advantage of our completely private pool.
You're welcome for the last picture (we plan on being naked the entire time we're here).

Little India, Little Malaysia, And A Little Smoke

2010-07-06T16:35:00.001-07:00

This morning started off with Ryan nearly evacuating the entire hotel. We were at breakfast and he put bread in the toaster and walked to the far side of the room to get some eggs made. About three minutes later there were staff running to figure out why the entire room was filled with smoke. Ryan was mortified. I thought it was AWESOME.
Nothing really opens here until 11:00 a.m. so we went for a swim after breakfast. You can't even compare this pool to the one in Hong Kong but it was nice to take a plunge into cold water. Today the temperature was hovering around 30 Celsius (86 Fahrenheit) but with the humidity it felt like 36 (97). It was bliss for the first 10 minutes... then a hoard of children came and we evacuated immediately.
After our swim we decided to walk (of course, we pick the hottest day... but I'm not complaining. I wasn't forced to dress up. I'll count my blessings) to Little India and Little Malaysia. We weren't sure if it would be worth the 2 hours of walking but figured we could melt off some blubber on the way. As an aside, Singapore is as clean as everyone makes it out to be. I haven't seen one piece of litter, have seen people scrubbing down handles, and scrubbing outdoor floors like this lady was.
Our first stop was at Little India. We weren't sure what to expect but as soon as we turned a corner into the area we were blasted with incense, fabric, gold jewelery, statues of Ganesh, and women that wanted to cover us in Henna. We were happy we made the trek but there wasn't very much room to move. I asked Ryan if he was happy we went and his reply was "It reminds me of Istanbul... stinky and way too many aggressive sales people." I'm pretty sure that's his way of saying that it was a really cool experience and he's glad we went (after I coerced him into spending the day there).
We were probably ready to go back to air-conditioning at this point but we didn't feel right about missing the opportunity to go to Little Malaysia. It was O'kay and we were glad we went but we were seriously 'done' at this point as far as heat.
We had our free lunch (thanks to our super awesome travel agent Ilana) at the Chinese restaurant in the hotel called Jiang-Nan Chun. After about 15 minutes looking at the menu we found everything that didn't have seafood in it (I would have been happy but Ryan, not so much). It was delicious to be honest but it came out at lightening speed and we were done in about half an hour. Kind of lame but it was free. To be fair, I think they cater to a business crowd that needs to get in and out.
Once lunch was finished, Ryan insisted we go have a spa treatment. Not just any treatment... a 'fish' treatment. There are spas here that cater to people who want hundreds of fish to nibble at their feet to exfoliate them. I thought it was gimicky but decided that it would be an experience. I was SO GLAD we went! It actually is amazing as far as the feeling afterward. We opted for the 10 minute treatment (which was about $7.50 CDN) but there were deluxe packages including those with internet access (while you feet are being cleaned you can browse the internet).
I've got to admit, it was somewhat excruciating for the first couple of minutes but I managed to push through the tickling sensation. Ryan, on the other hand, didn't fare so well.

Once we finished at the spa we went through the shopping district (again). Of course, by this point, we've had a beer (*cough*) each and may have gone overboard on a present for mother for taking care of our angel. After all, it is her birthday when we get back. If you want to get an idea of the state we we were in, check out this picture of Ryan.
It's close to dinner so we're about to have an overpriced glamourous cocktail and some dinner at the New Asia bar on the 71st floor of the Swisshotel. We fly out first thing in the morning to Bali and get in there just after noon. More to come.

We're Orchid Hunters Too!

2010-07-05T20:04:00.000-07:00

After breakfast this morning, we went to the National Botanical Garden just down from our hotel. For anyone with a green thumb, there is serious risk to having your head explode. The place is massive and has an amazing amount of different species. The garden also has the largest collection of orchids in the world. Cue to me taking a bazillion pictures.
I love, love, love orchids and I've done fairly well taking care of them. I was blown away by the fact that some of them were taller than I am, and some were microscopic. Look, if you're not into plants right now this has probably been a really boring post so far. If you agree with me, I apologize for the next round of pictures (The scroll down bar is to your right).
Although it's a bit fuzzy, the last photo shows one of the favourite orchids that I saw. It's a Dendrobium Eduardo Frei Ruiz-Tagle (Denrobium tangerinum X Dendrobium slyvanum) but you probably already knew that (Do I get a gold star, Leon?). I thought the flowers looked like wasps flying at you. O'kay, I'll stop with the orchids.
We wandered through about half the park and found a place called The Cool House which simulated the environment of a mountain top. Maybe I felt the need to add the picture because it was air-conditioned and cool. Also, I found another area of the park that gave inspiration for my next drag outfit.

We had lunch at an amazing Italian place called Forlino. Singapore is bizarre in that respect. It's made up of Chinese, Malaysian, and Indian people and they've got everything from California Pizza Kitchen to 7-11 to Hard Rock Cafe. Anyway, the food was spectacular and I thought of you, Dalyn, with the old school champagne glasses.
After lunch we decided to go and get a trashy tourist photo at Singapore's famous Merlion (the white lion shooting water out of his mouth that we posted on our first post of this trip) but he looked like this...
We then hopped in a taxi and went to the brand new Marina Bay Sands Hotel. It is absolutely amazing. Singapore spent $8 billion building it and it just opened on June 23rd of this year. It is three towers and 57 stories with a nautical themed sky garden connected over the three buildings. I really can't describe it so I'll let the pictures and the video do the talking.

You'll see that Ryan isn't smiling in the video. Mr. Grouchy Pants was mad because I refused to use the audio guide. It would have been better had I just listened to one. Every time I went to talk to him he insisted on giving me a random tidbit of information. "Did you know they damed this river to maintain constant tidal leve?" Fascinating.

We were just about finished but decided to go and see the other side of the viewing platform that is reserved for hotel guests. I have never seen a more kick-ass pool in my life. Totally amazing.
We're now back at the hotel and about to go shopping. Apparently, Singapore has a sale nation wide that lasts until the end of July. Score. Hopefully we can stay awake later than 8:00 p.m. tonight so that we're not up at 4:30 a.m. The wine certainly isn't helping the cause.

Singapore Sling

2010-07-05T03:00:00.000-07:00

Look, from dinner up until right now there is nothing in our experience that can possibly trump the flight we just had on Singapore Airlines so we're just going to cut to the chase. The airline company is consistently rated number one in the world and if you are a frequent flier, you know why. This was our first time flying with them and OH MY GOD. Amazing. Considering we had duct tape holding the seats together in 'first' class on United Airlines, we wondered how amazing first class would be on Singapore Airlines when this is what we got on medium haul, Business Class flight (this was their equivalent to a Vancouver to Winnipeg flight):
The service, the equipment, and the attention to detail is exceptional. You could barely put your used fork down before someone was there to replace it with a clean one. Almost bizarre but so, so lovely. The food needs to be mentioned as well. Ryan order the beef tornadoes and I had the prawn and dumping soup. I mean, we're on a plane yet Ryan ends up with a perfectly cooked (pink in the middle) piece of beef and I get an amazing bowl of soup with perfectly steamed dumplings. The meal would have been worth the price in any class of restaurant.
We arrived in Singapore ahead of schedule and checked into our room at the Four Seasons Singapore. Obviously it's great but it has got nothing on the Four Seasons in Hong Kong which is, arguably, one of the best city hotels in the world according to everything you read online. I realize we're spoiled bitches but still... need to put it out there.
We could barely drop our bags before Ryan dragged me into another taxi to go to the Raffles Hotel which is famous for their Long Bar where they invented the Singapore Sling. I think we would both agree... a touch too juicy and WAY overpriced. Are you kidding me? $25 CDN each? Please, there was no liquor in that. Anyway, I suppose it's a once in a lifetime thing and since we'll never be back, it makes for a blog posting.
We're back at the hotel now and trying to figure out what to do about dinner. We'll keep you posted... mother... and our other 3 fans.

Up In The Clouds

2010-07-03T20:31:00.000-07:00

I can't really say we're adjusting well to the time change. We were up at 12:30 a.m. this morning, both took a sleeping pill, and managed to stay sleeping until 4:00 a.m. which really isn't a big deal except that there is nothing to do for a couple hours. We went down for breakfast at 6:30 a.m. and I decided to stray away from the eggs and order a 'Hong Kong Breakfast.'
It was so delicious. Beef Rice Congee, Dim Sum,and Fried Noodles. Ryan probably would have loved it as well but it required chopsticks which he's terrified of using... and I've seen him use them. Let's just say some people are better with a fork. I don't know how the hell he got through dental school. You'd think chopsticks would be a breeze compared to a high-speed dental drill in someone's mouth. Then again, he was raised on grilled cheese, Kraft Dinner, and roast beef. He gets a pass.

We took a swim after breakfast and again, there was hardly anyone there because it was so early. Well, there was a mother and child there. I saw the little girl looking at us, talking to her mother, looking back at us, and then turning to her mother laughing while she patted her belly. We immediately came back to the room, shut off the lights, put Christina Aguilera's 'Beautiful' on repeat, crawled into bed, and cried ourselves to sleep.

We decided that even though it was really cloudy at the mountain peaks, we would just go up anyway and hope that the wind blew it off so that we could get a good view of the city from the top. We got to entrance and there wasn't a soul in sight. We questioned whether or not to go up considering there was a 1.5 hour lineup the last time we tried but decided that it was cheap so, what the hell.
The trip to the top had a really steep incline. In the picture above, I am standing totally straight... made for a cool picture. The ride only lasted a couple minutes and I was amazed at the view. I had forgotten what a spectacular sight it was from the top.
We enjoyed the cool breeze up high and managed to dodge the vendors selling all of their crappy touristy garbage. Once we got to the bottom we wandered around and found the world's longest escalator. Fascinating, I know. To be honest, it was kind of nice to just 'cruise' considering the heat.

After a quick repose in the room, we were off to lunch. An official Chinese lunch at a restaurant called Lung King Heen. I was scared for Ryan and shocked that he would even make the reservation... until I realized it was the world's only Chinese 3 Michelin Star restaurant. Thank god it was all dim sum. Chicken spring rolls, BBQ pork buns, and Beef Noodles. Who could complain (about the food, not the chopsticks)?
After a healthy amount of wine, it was time to shop. Hong Kong is actually really expensive and you can actually get everything quite a bit cheaper at home... but like I said, after a healthy amount of wine, it was time to shop. I can't tell you how exhausting it was.
Ok... enough blogging. We're going drunk swimming.

Glamour Lunch And A Wee Bit of Jet Lag

2010-07-03T04:23:00.000-07:00

O'kay, I've been bitching about the shitty weather in Vancouver for months. Maybe it's not as bad as I thought. It's between 30 and 35 degrees centigrade here and we're sweating more than kd lang at a Christian singles dance. It's not so much the heat as the humidity. Every time we step outside it feels like we're walking around in someone's mouth. That said, I'll take it any day over the overcast, dreary weather we've had to endure for so long at home. So depressing.

Today we decided to take a stroll after our morning swim. What a different world. For those of you that don't know, I (Jess) lived in Taiwan for about 2.5 years. I am actually surprised how nostalgic I am for this culture. Even the sewer smell, hanging raw meat, and crush of people everywhere you go didn't seem to phase me.
Even Ryan did fairly well, despite the above picture. It was amazing to see, again, the clash of desperately poor with ridiculously rich that this city offers. I can't help but feel guilty for having an air-conditioned, glamorous hotel room after traipsing through an alley where people are fighting to eek out a living.

TOO REAL!

On to our amazing lunch at Caprice, here in our hotel. It's a 3 Michelin Star restaurant and we went with our friends, Richard and Amber, that live here in the city. The meal was fantastic though I'm not sure it's deserving of the 3 stars. The food and service were both great but certainly not deserving of the final price tag... but let's get real. We also love Big Macs. We have had spectacular meals at diners and fine dining restaurants alike, so you never know. At the end of the day, it was a meal with friends we haven't seen in a long time so it was worth it.
After lunch we said our goodbyes and did a bit more shopping... on the street. There are air-conditioned walkways everywhere, from building to building, but we decided to be street level. You know, until the sweat started pooling under our breasts. At this point we were dying from jet-lag but we decided to press on and go to The Peak to see a view of the city from the top of the mountain. We hopped in a taxi, paid, got out, asked the employee how long the line was, he said 1.5 hours, we asked how long the line was at 7:00 a.m., he said no line, and we walked home.

We just ordered room service. We're so tired with the 15 hour time change, we can't even bring ourselves to go downstairs. We promise to do something tomorrow to make this blog worth reading.

Free Willy(s)

2010-07-02T17:54:00.000-07:00

I knew I signed that anti-whaling ban for a reason. After breakfast we actually went swimming. Here's proof that we got half-naked, in public, to take a dip in the hotel's gorgeous pool. Every time I brought my head back out of the water I took a quick sweep to see if any of the staff were setting up a harpoon. What an amazing way to spend a morning.

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles

2010-07-02T01:27:00.000-07:00

Sweet mother of god, it feels like we've been travelling for four years already but we made it, are rested, and wide awake at 4:30 a.m. Here is where I am sitting as I write. I am one lucky bitch.
Our flight from Vancouver to Seattle was at 7:30 so we had an early start. We checked our bags, basically had to get naked to go through security, and headed to the lounge. As we're walking in, Ryan jumps to the right and presses his back to the wall like he's Jason Bourne or something. Turns out one of his patients was in the lounge as well so we Whack-a-Mole'd our heads around every corner and found a place to have a coffee. Once in Seattle, we had a 5 hour layover so we went to the United Airlines lounge, plopped down our stuff, pulled out our iPads and got comfy. Who comes in sits about 5 feet away, directly in between the bar and us? Ryan's patient. We knew he was there, he knew we were there, but nothing was said until Ryan finally couldn't hold it any longer and went to the bathroom and had to do the requisite chat... and then again while waiting to board for Tokyo. The only saving grace about this situation is that the patient enjoys a cocktail for breakfast. It would have been helpful to know this the first couple of hours we were there so we didn't waste our time drawing a map of possible paths we could take to get some vodka for our orange juice without being seen.

We were really excited for the flight from Seattle to Tokyo because we were flying First Class. Not Business but First. We boarded the United Airlines 777 and the excitement quickly dissipated. I mean, we expected that we were going to get the old dinosaurs as Flight Attendants that are hanging on for retirement because it was a 10 hour flight and those girls have seniority. What we didn't expect was that the seats would be held together with duct tape. Duct Tape? Green Duct Tape? That's what you came up with United?
After we got a couple glasses of champage, we got over it and just decided to enjoy the archaic interior. After all, we had the lie-flat beds, fluffy pillows, amenity kits stocked with such luxurious brands as Crest and Scope, and hey, booze was free.
I decided to take a gander at what movies were playing. I couldn't seem to find the function on the TV so I asked the the Brontosaurus to help me. "I'll be right back, sir" was what she offered and she scuttled away. Then she brought me back a massive brief case.
OOOOOoooh! They're not kidding about First Class! What did they have back there, one of those new BETA machines? I pulled one out, not sure what to do with it and pulled out my iPad. I will say that the food was pretty good. I'm not quite sure what's gotten into Ryan but he's been eating duck and fish. Considering his food groups are red meat, wine, and Bulls-Eye BBQ Sauce I've been pretty impressed.
The flight was actually fairly painless. I watched episodes of Modern Family and Ru Paul's Drag Race on my iPad and Ryan pretty much did this the entire 10 hours (look closely to see what's on the screen). Oh, and by 'this' I'm also talking about the wine.
Once in Tokyo, we had three hours to kill. After claiming our luggage and going through customs again, we went to the lounge and waited some more. We were both struck by how well everything works and how nice everyone is. We basically sat with droopy eyelids trying to rehydrate from the flight (you know how dry those things are... * cough *).

After trying desperately to stay awake for the last 4 hour flight, we disembarked in Hong Kong. We had asked the hotel to send a car did they ever DELIVER. Literally as soon as we were out of the plane, there was a number of men holding signs with different people's names on them. We found ours and prepared for the mile long walk to the customs hall. The man explained that the Four Seasons had asked him to escort us to the car and would we please take a seat on the ONE waiting golf cart. We hopped on and left all those other bitches in the dust.

From the time we stepped off of the plane, we did not lift a bag or wonder where we were going. There were people waiting, carrying, ushering... it was amazing. We hopped into the black Mercedes waiting for us, were given chilled scented towels to freshen up with and were off to the Four Seasons Hotel. Once here, same thing. We got out of the car and a woman was waiting to escort us straight to our upgraded room. Everything had been arranged. No waiting at the front desk, no issues with the bags. We were literally in our room in the time it took for us to walk from the car and go up the elevator.
We were welcomed with fruit, dessert, and a lovely letter stating they hope Dr. and Ms. K altio enjoy their stay. Happens every trip. Maybe we'll keep count. So far this is number 2.

The 'Asia-Lite' Tour

2010-06-30T06:40:00.000-07:00

Finally, finally, finally! We are going on vacation. I was told by one of my cousins that we are always on vacation. Not so. In fact, we haven't been on a real vacation since last summer, unless you count visiting relatives and getting family pictures done (Love you, guys!). We were supposed to go to New Orleans for Christmas last year but our little nugget, Walter, was sick.
I mean, how were we supposed to leave a face like that? Though it's been difficult for both of us to go this long without a break, the wait definitely makes this vacation all the more sweet, even if Ryan is keeping a tight lip on happiness until he actually finishes his last day of work today (OK, so we had one little quick trip to California to see amazing friends for 5 days last month... shhhh...).

We're doing the Asia-Lite tour this year. You know, the parts of Asia that have had major Western influence. I lived in Taiwan for a number of years but Ryan has never experienced the crock-pots full of eggs boiling in tea in every 7-11, or gone to night markets to buy a BBQ squid on a stick. I had to spend a full 5 years just getting him used to crabcakes so we needed a vacation that pushed the boundaries but still had a burger and fries accessible if need be. Hong Kong is our first stop (pictured above), followed by a couple days in Singapore.
We're doing a round of 'city' before we take most of the vacation to relax in Bali. Now, for those of you that haven't followed us in the past, you need to realize that Ryan has only started learning how to relax on vacation. You can ask his mother and sister what it used to be like traveling with him. Until recently, he was an 'up at 5:00 a.m. to stand in line at the Louvre' kind of traveler but after our trip to Turkey and our stay at the Four Seasons Bosphorus in Istanbul, he was hooked on lounging, cabanas, cocktails, and books. Music to my ears.

I have been to Bali and Hong Kong but never Singapore though Bali is what I'm most looking forward to... especially since Ryan is the King of 'we should probably go for this' when it comes to hotel rooms. I've got to admit, it's amazing how far the Canadian dollar is stretched in Bali. Here's a little look-see at what you can expect for the same price as a shoebox in New York City:
Looking forward to traveling with you all.

We are home

2009-08-04T12:19:00.000-07:00

We hopped in a taxi at 5am yesterday and arrived home in Vancouver at 2pm (19 hours later). The trip home was absolutely painless. We flew back with Lufthansa and enjoyed the service they offer in business class, and the endless meals and drinks made the time fly by. By the time we reached Vancouver we were pretty bagged and today we feel like our heads aren't quite screwed on straight. Thank goodness we have another day before returning to work. Jess and I began our "new leaf" today by going to the gym and doing a big shop for nothing but vegetables (something our bodies haven't seen in 3 weeks). We both gained about 10 lbs on this holiday so there is some work that needs to be done on our part!!

Reflecting on our time in France we would have to say this was our best trip ever. We had both been to Paris a few times before and loved the city but we were surprised just how much we absolutely loved the entire country. Tourists complain about "the French" and their attitude and there is a bit of that in Paris but all of that completely disappears as soon as you leave the city. Everywhere we went the people we so friendly and also very tolerant of our lack of skill with the French language. It was very comfortable.

Of course our engagement there will forever make France have a special place in our hearts. I am sure it won't be too long before we are back in France again but before that we have a list of other countries we was to visit. We are currently in the early planning stages for next summer and hope to visit Singapore, Bali, and Hong Kong.

Thanks for following along. We enjoy writing the blog and it serves us a great journal of our travels. Until next time, Ryan and Jess

All Good Things Must Come To An End

2009-08-02T07:05:00.001-07:00

We have to wake up at 4:30 a.m. tomorrow morning because we have to be at Charles de Gaulle airport at 6:00 a.m. so last night was really the last chance we had to go out. We got together with our friend Nigel for dinner and drinks which was fantastic because visits with him are few and far between. We started out at Le Georges, the restaurant on the top of the Pompidou and then went to L'Open Cafe (fairly infamous gay bar at night) after for a beer. Poor Nigel. I think he was ready for a long night and was ready to show us the city. Dinner already bled into our bedtime and by the time we had finished one drink we were both ready to fall over. What can I say. We're a couple Cinderellas. Have to be home by midnight.
This morning we woke up and decided to head to Pere Lachaise Cemetary. First we thought we'd have breakfast... we're getting less and less picky. Here's a flattering shot of us eating a piece of cold pizza next to some dog shit on a dirty bench near a busy street. The glamour meals never end.

Once we got to the cemetary, the travel guide we usually take with us everywhere gives a tour of suggested gravesites to go to. A lot of famous people are burried there like Oscar Wilde (pictured below with the kisses on the angel tombstone), Edith Piaf, and Gertrude Stein.
Of course, the most popular tourist attraction in the cemetery is Jim Morrison. There was, of course, a crush of people trying to look at what really doesn't amount to anything spectacular. That said, as soon as we saw a crowd, we were right there taking pictures and suddenly pulling a LaToya Jackson, totally interested and wanting a great picture of this memorable moment.
Once we had got out photo ops, we went for lunch and Ryan was keen to capture our one last day of vacation with some great pictures. I am officaly OVER having my picture taken and refused to cooperate.
Well, Ryan just finished organizing our luggage and we're going to spend one last quiet evening out and about, and then turn in early. Here's a little video of what we'll be doing in about 12 (or so) hours - something we filmed on the way here and forgot to post. We'll do one last posting once we're home. Bye for now.

Back In Paris

2009-07-31T23:58:00.000-07:00

We took our time waking up this morning and had one last cup of coffee on our beautiful terrace in Reims. We had picked up some 'breakfast pastries (dessert)' the night before and had a quick bite before we hit the road. Here are some pictures. I'm going to let you guess which one Ryan doesn't know has been posted and see how long before he notices.(Ryan just looked over my shoulder and said: "Screw you. If the pose is good enough for Paris and Britney, it's good enough for me."

We are happy to be back in Paris after a painless hour drive from Reims. We stopped to fill the rental with diesel just outside of the city and happened to peer into the garbage can beside the pumps. The driver that had filled the tank before us decided to get rid of all of those pesky jumbo beer cans from out of his/her car. Suddenly, driving in France is all starting to make sense.
We dropped off the car and the place we got it (which we would definitely use again if you're ever here, FYI) and the man assessed the car for damage. He checked the rims, the windshield... thank GOD he didn't check Ryan's side of the car or we would have had to pay for a hole in the floor and all the handles that had been ripped off while I passed vehicles on the freeway. We got to our final hotel of the trip, Hotel du Moulin Petit and the previous guest had yet to check out so we dumped our luggage and rode the Metro to La Duree on the Champs-Élysées for lunch which just happens to be down the road from the Louis Vuitton flagship store where our rings are from.
As we said in the last post, we decided we needed to start eating vegetables. What better way to ease yourself back into health than a few carrots and beans mashed between puff pastry and whipped marscarpone cheese, topped with a candied hybiscus flower?
After lunch we headed down and window shopped. On the way we saw many people begging for money. We thought it would be funny if we had thrown a Euro into this ladies giant Louis Vuitton bag to see what their reaction would have been. I would have but we had already passed and it would have looked suspicious:
We made it back to the hotel. Like I mentioned above, it is called the Hotel du Moulin Petit. They weren't kidding about the 'petit' part. Actually, it's really great and the bathroom is separate which is lovely. You don't really get room to move in Paris so I have no complaints... massive tub, airconditioning, and a comfy bed.

Now we're off for a walk and then headed back to meet our friend Nigel at the hotel (a friend Jess met when he was working in Taiwan who now lives in Paris) to go out for dinner and drinks at Georges Restaurant which is located on top of the Centre Pompidou. Can't wait!

Running Out Of Steam

2009-07-31T07:11:00.000-07:00

If you've read even only one of our posts, you know that we do not cut corners on vacation. We work our butts off during the year and then make a valiant effort to outdo those efforts in the three weeks alloted during summer for our vacation.

Having said that, there comes a point near the end of the trip where we start hitting 'the wall' and enough is enough. We know we've arrived at this point when we suddenly start salivating when we spot a plate of browing iceburg lettuce, or the act of downing a glass of champagne becomes a chore. While Ryan took a nap this afternoon, I flopped down on a patio recliner to read a book and I swear to god, the solid B-cups that I've amassed on my chest over the last couple of weeks didn't stop jiggling for at least 4 seconds and I'm pretty sure my heart stopped for 10. Ryan awoke from his nap and when offered a beverage, he starting telling me he was feeling guilty and overweight and that no, he would not like a glass of bubbly before dinner. He was also wondering whether or not we'd like to have Big Macs for dinner. Lord...
Today, we went to Epernay, France which is a quik 25 k.m. drive from Reims. In retrospect, we would probably have stayed here if we were to do this trip again. It is the 'capital' of the Champagne district and while it is a lot smaller than Reims, it has the same ammeneties and is closer to the bigger champagne producers, one of them being Moet Chandon who also bottle Dom Perignon. After touring two estates yesterday, we were almost able to give the tour ourselves and decided that this one would be our last. The difference between this estate and the others we've seen is that they cellar 100,000,000 bottles of champagne at one time. Amazing.

After the tour, we walked around the city for awhile and took a few photos. You'll notice that at this point of the trip, we are being sure to pull out our best Paris Hilton pose - one that will hide as many new rolls as possible. Notice my 'twist-to-the-side-pivot-shoulders-hide-full-frontal-stomach' pose and Ryan's 'hoist-arm-up-to-lessen-boobs' pose (above).

We're planning to take it easy tonight. Most of France is starting to shut down and I think we're going to be OK with that.
Tomorrow we return to Paris to enjoy our last two days. Luckily Paris is a quick one hour drive from here.

I Feel Like A Princess

2009-07-30T07:27:00.000-07:00

I love this hotel, but it is by far the most stuffy and proper of any hotel we have stayed at. Jess, not so much, but he will get through the pain. We woke up this morning (me feeling 100% again, yeah!) and as we lay in bed in silence, Jess looked at me and asked what I was thinking about. I am sure he was hoping I would say something mushy in return but in reality what I was thinking was "I'll bet this is what Queen Elizabeth's bedroom looks like and I feel like a princess lying here." It can't have been a total disappointment because he got a good laugh out of it. We went down for breakfast which again, was a very formal affair complete with waiters in jackets, orange juice poured out of swan like decanters, carts of bread, additional pastry carts rolled around for you to make your choices from, and sterling silver coffee pots. I quite enjoyed all the fuss. Again, Jess not so much who would have been happier with an Egg McMuffin (who is pissed that I pictured the photo below but I feel it captures his mood at the time).
After breakfast it was off to tour two champagne houses: Pommery and Taittinger. To be honest, Reims is really quite a boring city and if you have been to Paris or any other French city, there is nothing really new for you to see. Yesterday we were thinking that we had made a mistake by booking 3 nights here but after today we are glad we did. Underground is a totally different story.
Pommery is right across the street from our hotel and we walked by it a few times yesterday thinking it was not super impressive compared to the Chateaux we had seen in other parts of France. It reminded us a bit of Excalibre in Las Vegas. What we didn't know was there are 18 km of tunnels 90 metres underneath the chateau where all the champagne is stored and aged.

(If you look at the picture above, you can see the sign showing that there are 91, 943 bottles in this one particular gallery. Between their two sites, Pommery stores around 23 million bottles at one time)

These champagne caves were built by the Romans when they harvested the chalk to construct buildings. The whole city of Reims has these caves underneath it.

They also bottle champagne in sizes appropriate for when you are dining at home alone (a reasonable 23 litres for a quick lunch).
And they provide these convenient stroller accessories for mothers on the go!
This has been the most amazing trip but the food has been less than amazing. Check out some of our dinner last night. We told the hotel we wanted something casual and they sent us to yet another French bistro where they were mixing up the steak tartar everywhere we turned. It was full of locals... never a good sign for eaters like us.

Jess' Caesar Salad had so many anchovies even he had trouble eating it, barf.
I wasn't feeling well and chewed the first bite of my steak for 5 minutes before I could swallow and decided I was done. I did what we call the 'Barbara Walters.' It is what skinny New York women do. They don't eat but rather, cut their food up and push it around the plate so it looks like they've eaten. For the record, this is only the second time in my life I have done 'The Barbara Walters' and my waistline will back me up on that. Time to turn over a new leaf when we return, but not just yet (Jess laughed out loud when he read this).
Today we found an amazing resaurant. Our goal was to find something NOT French and somewhat trashy. We went to the most touristy part of town and "Hola" Latino Cafe:
Look at these natchos! Straight out of a Doritos bag and we couldn't have been happier.
Burritos, delicous, and peas in the spanish rice... nice touch. 5 stars!!!
Tonight we are having dinner at Le Jardin Brasserie which is in the garden of our hotel and just opened. It is the hot table in town right now and we had to beg to get a reservation. We had a quick lunch there when we arrived at the hotel yesterday and we both liked it so thought keeping to a sure thing would be a good idea.

Reims, France: Champagne Country

2009-07-29T06:52:00.000-07:00

We managed another 715 k.m. journey through France and we're more than happy it's the last long stretch we have left to drive on this trip. At this point, we've been witness to several accidents and are fortunate we haven't been part of one. You would think that we'd be used to driving here by now but it's impossible to accustom yourself to people hovering between lanes and leaving signal lights on at all times. Ryan gasps and slams on his imaginary brake pedal every time a car moves slightly towards ours which immediately sends me into a panic. Totally fair when you consider I don't see half of the speed demons moving in my direction. A particularly stress inducing moment came today when Ryan saw the woman next to us asleep at the wheel, not realizing that it was a British car and the driver was at the other side.
Our hotel, Chateau Les Crayeres, is brilliant. It seems a lot more old world than the others we have been at and more... what's the word... proper(?). Don't think I'll be walking through the lobby in my flip flops with my pool towel wrapped around my head in this one. After a quick look at the hotel menu on the way to the room, we decided that we will definitely not be eating here unless we can get a good price for our car when we get back. Thanks to Ryan's 'months-in-advance' planning, we managed to snag one of the best rooms in the place. Not something you'd want to live in, per se, but lovely to experience for a few days and the view from the terrace is spectacular.

Can't you just picture the interior decorator as a young, apologetic, super insecure woman bringing the owners through for the first time. "Weeelllll? What do you think? You like blue, right? I love blue! You don't think it's too busy, right? I just LOVED the wallpaper. Do you like the wallpaper?"

We ate some lunch and went for the half hour walk it takes to get down to the city centre after getting a map from the concierge. We were a bit worried as we walked. The city was uber quiet and we saw very few people and cars. I'm talking, really quiet:
We eventually found a really cute city square full of blocked streets, cafes, and shops. As luxurious as four days with having nothing to do is, I was a bit relieved that we found some life. I'm not sure another three days of reading would have had the same appeal. Like most major cities in Europe, there is a famous cathedral and we went to check it out.
Not the best self-portrait but I was in no mood for capturing the perfect moment. You see, we have officially started the part of the trip where we have to start 'smell testing' our clothes. It has been hovering around 30 degrees celsius (86 F) for the bulk of our trip and the humidity has been quite high. I don't need to tell you what this weather, combined with a 3 hour walk, does to the netherregions of one's body. After looking at the hotel laundry sheet and having my eyes pop out of my head as I saw 'Men's Shirt - 15 Euro ($23)' printed in a lovely, scripted font, I thought I might try going commando instead of getting some clothes laundered. Right... so combine that heat, humidity, and walk with some really rough inseams. Not a pretty picture. It was right about at this point that I was trying to figure out whether to hike my shorts to my tits to make sure that my dewy thighs don't rub together anymore, or just take the fastest route home. I tried out every available option on the way.

We have a reservation for dinner tonight back at a little Bistro in the city centre but Ryan is konked out on the bed and not feeling very well. Part of me thinks that I might be using our taxi to do a McDonald's run. If things take a turn for the worse, not to worry. I found a hospital on the way back to our hotel that he will have no problems checking into.