This Just In...

A lunch reservation has been made by Ryan, and a pair of shorts, flip-flops, and T-shirt has been selected by Jess for tomorrow. I've already called the front desk to send up an iron to make sure they are extra crispy so that I don't look out of place.

No bullshit here people. Just tellin' it like it is. The only thing left to ignite WWIII is for me to make fun of this:

Meow...

The blog you are trying to reach is temporarily out of service and will commence once a petty cat fight has been resolved. Ryan wanted to go for another glamor lunch and Jess refused to wear a dress shirt again. Stay tuned.

Food, Food, and More Food

Yesterday, we spent much of our time lounging about, having a cocktail or 6, and spending time on our terrace in the hot tub (which is technically now a cool tub. We haven't turned on the heat since we got here and it is a welcome relief after the 40 degree hike back up the mountain to our hotel room). In the evening, we went to dinner at a place called La Tagliata. The reason I put the picture of that little horn playing thing is to give you an idea of how high up the mountain the restaurant is (it was too dark to take a picture when we were there). The statue is about the half way mark. If you make a reservation the restaurant comes and picks you up and brings you back home again in a van. We were picked up at about 8:00 p.m. and took the 20 minute drive up the winding roads. You'll see below that most of the roads have been extended in order that 2 cars can actually get by one another... but it's still (what feels like) the width of a queen sized bed. The drivers all act like they're on the freeway... what feels like a near death experience to us, every 2 minutes or so, ends with the driver giving a little 'toot toot' on the horn, waving their hand in the air and yelling 'Ciao!'

Anyway, the restaurant didn't have a menu. One of the sons (family restaurant) came to the table and said. 'No menu, O.k.? Family restaurant. You just try.' Then the food starting coming. I know the picture I posted looks like different cans of Chef-Boy-Ar-Dee plopped onto a plate, but it was amazing. We were treating the meal like our anniversary dinner (3 years on the 28th) but I'll be damned if I could find that Bulgari ring in my lasagne. It was the perfect size. I was meticulously slicing for like an hour... I have NEVER taken that long to eat pasta. I guess he wants me to propose... it's supposed to be two months salary, right. O.k... lets see... $65.34 x 2, carry the 1...

The only thing we weren't crazy about was the meat. A big 'ol plate of meat (an no Bullseye BBQ sauce to be had... poor Ry). We wanted to know what we were eating so we called the waiter over and the conversation went something like this... Um, excuse me sir? Could you tell me what kind of meat this is? Sure. This one shish kabob, this one sausage.

Awesome. Thanks for clearing that up. I think my favorite part of the night was driving back. There was about 4 couples in this huge van. The driver said something into the radio and an English lady said "I wonder what that means" and I responded with "I think that's Italian for NO BRAKES" and then watched her fiddle with her seatbelt until she was sure it was done up.

O.k... now to tell you about the BEST DAY EVER. We drove to Ravello for a cooking lesson with Mama Agata. That is her below with her daughter, Chiara (who speaks fluent English... Mama, not a lick. She just hip checks her daughter out of the way and yells something in Italian if she talks too long or is not doing something properly). The day didn't start off so well for Ryan. Ravello is 20 kilometers from Positano but it takes an hour and twenty minutes to get there because of all the twists and turns in the 1.5 lane road. He was having flashbacks to childhood road-trips, breaking out is a cold sweat... every turn brought his toast and eggs dangerously close to his throat. I didn't realize how bad it really was until the first course of Italian breakfast went around. Ryan ate half. That never happens. He seemed to perk up after 10:30 a.m. when Chiara asked if anyone would like a glass of wine.


There was only four of us, and it was really intimate. These people were amazing... They grew and made everything... bottled their own black and green olives, made their own wine, made their own Limoncello, their own pasta, tomato sauce... the only thing they didn't make themselves was the cheese, which they got from a friend down the road who made it herself. Most of the time was spent in the kitchen and the rest was spent on their patio eating.


This is their property. They have been on the land for 250 years... over that time, they have fed a ton of celebrities... Humphrey Bogart, Liz Taylor, Woody Harrelson... it seemed she had a story for everything and about everyone. Half of the people she didn't know were celebrities until they left. They are very down to earth people and made you feel like family. It wasn't put on either. There is NO pretense with them. Half wait through cooking, Mamma turned off the stove, went to the window and started screaming "Torre! Torre!" Apparently her husband, Salvitore was working on the septic tank somewhere and she was concerned about his safety. He didn't respond right away so she just left for awhile until she knew he was O.k.... we were just going to have to wait.


A picture of us from Mama's Terrace.


Here's some of the food we made.


Us with the other couple that were their from Dublin. They're getting married in Italy and wanted to test drive Mama as the caterer. Chiara offered that they would be happy to cater ours as well.


Ry, me, and Mama (She was busy tending to her hair before the picture. If you look at some of the others, it got pretty crazy as the day progressed. The hotter it got, the stronger the wind... her daughter described her coif as a crazy hen).

We're on our way back to Rome tomorrow morning for a couple days. We will post once we are there. Bye for now.

Hello people....Ryan here....what the f#*%

Yup it's me. We are apparently on the relaxation part of the trip and Jess has decided to sleep the afternoon away leaving ME to post a blog! Hello, all the instructions are in Italian and I have never posted a blog in my life.....so far so good, eh!

Here is a photo to Jess sleeping as I write this.


Okay people, I wanted to give a little shout out to Jess for his fabulous blog entries during our trip. As I work on this, having to re-enter my password every 3.5 minutes (hotel wireless access)and waiting 8 minutes for each photo to download I realize how challenging it has been. Never mind that the computer is at 300 degrees due to the 240V European electrical connection. (That is okay, right?, I am surprised it hasn`t melted yet).

And also a BIG thank you to those who have taken the time to post comments. We (I mean Jess) usually posts during the day here when you guys are all fast asleep and when we wake up every morning we log on and see who has left a comment. So nice to have contact with you guys at home while we are away. A special thank you to Dalyn (your comments make us belly laugh every morning, except those when you are too busy cleaning up peas to comment), Mellisavina (have never met you, but you crack me up) and mom, aka mamma-mia (our biggest fan, I think).

We have been in Positano for 2 days now for the relaxation leg of our trip. The town is spectacularly beautiful, clinging to a cliff over the Mediterranean. Of all the stops on our trip to Italy we had the most difficulty deciding on a hotel here and we had two different rooms booked right until we left Vancouver. The hotel we are at had a 400 square foot terrace with a hot tub on it overlooking the sea off of the room vs. a nicer hotel with an infinitely pool (I thought a trip to Italy would be the solution to fix my weight issues, forcing me to diet and making it ok to slip on my leopard print speedo for a dip with the other hotel guests!). Needless to say, we are glad to have selected the hotel we did as we have been on a steady 4000-5000 calorie a day diet (conservatively), and the weather has been incredibly hot and humid. We can barely walk a block without being drenched in sweat and the tub on the terrace has been our savior.

So a typical day here has not been my typical style....no schedule....no pre-booked museums or tours..... we start with a relaxing breakfast on the terrace (don`t we have to be somewhere!!!)...


...have a nice walk in the village until we notice a group of American senior citizens (Wow, the plastic surgery!!!!!) having beers at 10:30am and say `Why not, we`re on holiday!!`


...finish our two monster beers just in time to go for a glamour lunch......






After lunch back to the room to sit on the terrace and read our books. As you can see Jess is reading some trashing New York Times best seller while I am reading a very difficult read by one of our literary masters, Rosie O`Donnell.





...maybe a little dip to cool off....



...then off to a dinner I planned 6 months ago.

Tomorrow we are off to Ravello, about 25km south of here, a town perched 1000 ft up on the cliff to take a cooking class from Mamma Agata. Apparently it is amazing. You cook the meal with mamma for 3 hours and then eat it in her garden overlooking the sea.

On more thing, Dalyn, we found you a new scooter, made by Burberry, sweet!


Alright, this has taken forever and Jess is starting to stir....until tomorrow and Jess` next post ...ARREEVA-DERCHEE. (I used Italtian spell check and that IS right!!)

It`s Jess... wanted to find out if anyone has ever been woken up by having Celine Dion (in FRENCH) blasted into your ear. It`s awesome. You just spring out of bed. Not bitchy at ALL. (Ryan is going to see her show in Las Vegas three days after we get home... for the third time... oh sorry, I just got corrected. Fourth time... I know, people, I know... shhhh... just smile and nod).

This Super Long Blog Posting Brought To You By: "37 Degrees Outside, 16 Degrees Inside."

Before I begin this post, let me show you something I forgot to add to the last one. Here's the shower head in the Salle Noir. Massive. To give you perspective, I took a picture of my reflection from inside the shower stall.


So, we loved and left Venice. Our water taxi picked us up and we made the 30 minute journey down a "sea freeway" to the airport. Here are some pictures of us in the boat, one of our driver, and another another passing taxi that looks identical to the boat that we were in.


Here's a picture taken to give you an idea of what the "highway" looks like. It was amazing... there was a certain order to it. There were wooden posts every so often and the boats did not venture outside of them, even if there was traffic.


We arrived at the airport three hours before our flight (One guess who wanted us there so early... and I'll give you a hint. The answer isn't Jess). When we arrived, we realized that we couldn't even check in for an hour. Awesome. I love waiting in airports. Now that we were there, we thought we'd switch it up and do something out of character, like have a glass of wine or two while we were waiting. Once the hour had passed, we checked in, went through customs, and found a bar on the other side. We sat there for awhile and tried to get online but realized we had to buy Wi-fi time at the airport, so Ryan went for a walk. Once he returned, he told me to finish my beer. He had found a really cool wine bar! Anyway, moral of the story is that one shouldn't show up too early at the airport with no form of entertainment. We were scared that our faces were going to end up on an Italian episode of 'Airplane' like Grandma Mary:


Our flight was a nightmare. We left 45 minutes late, got bussed to the runway to get to our plane, had to wait on the runway (unairconditioned) for the second bus with the other half of the passengers, flew to Naples with screaming children, and then waited for our luggage for 45 minutes. It was gross... but we eventually made it out of the airport into an air-conditioned car and could relax for the hour and fifteen minute drive to Positano.

It was worth all the hassle (and I say hassle very loosely... poor us, I know...). We got into Positano at about 7:30 p.m. Here is the same picture of where we are staying, one at night and one the next morning.


And... (drumroll)... here is our hotel room at the Eden Roc Hotel. GIGANTIC, though I can't say much about the interior decorating. I would describe it as... "Grandma Magee Chic." If I didn't know any better, I would say that she not only designed the interiors, but called my other Grandma and got her to sell some of the velvet paintings from her basement. One of the best features is the private hot tub on the private balcony. Combined with the view that we have (pictured below), there is almost no reason to leave the room (well, size, a hot tub which is easily cooled, and the fact that the room is 16 degrees celsius when it is 34 degrees outside).



O.k... that's enough of the hotel. Can you tell that I'm excited? Grandma's livingroom or not, it's a pretty sweet pad. Now, here's picture for all of you who don't believe me when I tell you that Ryan is a supreme planner. The picture below is him planning dinner reservations... DINNER RESERVATIONS. Notice the previously researched and printed out, bound binder of previously researched possibilities. You wouldn't think it would be such a big deal for someone who's favorite restaurant is White Spot (for my American friends, think of a mixture of In 'N Out and ghetto family dining... IHOPish).


Here are a couple of extra pictures:


And finally... we have been finding it very difficult to decide on what to bring you all as a souvenier from our travels so we've decided to let you choose. Look at the picture below... I know it will be hard to make a decision and you'll want them all, but choose ONE thing. If you're really having trouble, there are also some beautiful snow globes and hand-painted wine bottles that we can send pictures of.